I have to keep telling myself that... "it's just another 24 hours." That should be easy enough to handle, right? But, for some reason those extra 24 hours have sent me into a whirlwind of tears and discouragement.
The last couple of days Hugh's oxygen desaturation levels have been dipping during his afternoon naps, which they did again today even though he was doing awesome this morning. They have gone low enough to have the doctors concerned about sending him home just yet. I met with one of the doctors briefly this evening and she laid out what their plan of action is between now and Tuesday morning.
Put Hugh back on a liter of oxygen for the next 12 hours. (He is currently hooked up to it as I write this.)
Take a new x-ray of his lungs in the morning, after the oxygen is finished.
Watch him closely for the following 24 hours to see how his condition improves.
Assuming everything goes smoothly, we'll then be discharged Tuesday morning.
In theory I know this news shouldn't be that big of a deal, but I can't keep the tears from coming. For the last few days I've kept my eye on Monday morning, which already seemed so far away. I guess it's like running a marathon and pacing yourself for those 26.2 and then just when you've almost reached the point of pure exhaustion you're told that you'll actually have to run an extra 7 miles. Seven shouldn't be a problem after finishing 26.2... unless you haven't paced yourself for those extra 7.
I'm just ready to be home. It's killing me to be away from Ben for so long, but I know I need to be here to help Hugh. My body is in quite a bit of pain still and I'm exhausted from all the running around we have to do here. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm also dealing with all kinds of postpartum hormones.
My point is just... I don't know... we need your prayers. I feel so selfish asking for more when so many of you have already done so much. Ultimately we know it's best to keep Hugh here until he's strong enough to come home... we're just hoping that that happens very soon, meaning at least by Tuesday and not another 24 hours (or more) after that.
To end on a bit of a lighter note, I think his sleeping position during his afternoon nap yesterday was meant to show off how strong he is:
8 comments:
Never apologize for asking for prayers. They are there for you when you need them, ask for them, and even when you don't, you're in our prayers. My heart is aching for you right now and your post made the tears come. I know the ups and downs of a newborn in an ICN. As you know, I've been there. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. Please let me know if I can do anything for you and/or your family. A great big hug is being sent your way!
P.S. I love the "strong boy" picture! He is such a cute Big Guy!
A precious angel. Our prayers are with you!
Oh Megan, you must be so tired! Can't wait for you all to be home so you can rest a little bit. Prayers, prayers and more prayers to all of you guys!!!!
All the prayers i can muster heading your direction. Lots of loves.
You can do this!!
thinking of you mama! you are so much stronger than you know- he is too
When Marc was little one of the first tricks we taught him was to "show your muscles" ! He performed on cue - "Muscles" and we had him "show his muscles" to whoever we could stop to admire our darling brother! Looks like Hugh is a chip off the old block (this does not mean Marc is a blockhead..;) as he is sporting the "muscles" pose!
Our prayers are with you!
Celinda
I understand you! You probably remember my Christmas Eve miracle story. . . part of the trauma of that was the feeling of something out of my control keeping me from taking my baby home. So awful! Those who have left the hospital without their babies know the agony of that.
Hang in there. Hugh and Benjamin will be together soon and keeping you so busy, God willing! My prayers are with you.
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