Since I'm putting Lucy down for bed at night while Marc is getting the boys settled, I usually miss out on the bedtime routine for my boys and I've really missed it lately. I get their energy and action during the day, which I love... but, it'd sure be nice to get a good dose of their cuddles and snuggling as they wind down and drift off to sleep.
Last night they were taking extra long falling asleep, so after Lucy was settled I got a few quiet moment with my boys. They were both wide-eyed and fighting their drooping eyelids. I laid down in the middle, so that I could hold hands with Hugh to my right and reach Ben on my left. We looked up at their big star light that hangs from the corner of the ceiling. Ben was telling me about the "big star" and the "big truck" and the "big wheels." So, I picked up on that "big" theme and started telling them a story, talking in my softest whisper at a nice slow pace.
Within five minutes or so I glanced over at Hugh to see his eyelids half-way closed, which if you're married to any of my brothers you know that in my family that pretty much means you're knocked out. Yeah, it's a little creepy, I know.
So, I continued with the story for Ben who was still wide-eyed and interjecting with his own version of the story at times. After about 15 minutes, Ben's breathing changed to its heavy, almost-snoring-like quality and I knew he was gone.
Instead of getting up right away, I just laid there, enjoying the comfort and the calm of the moment. Then, I turned to Hugh, stroked his hair, kissed him on the forehead and whispered in my softest whisper, "I love you so much." Then, I turned to Ben and did the same. They both laid still, except for the soft rise and fall of their chests, their little bodies sinking deeper into their slumber.
It was one of those moments that filled me with so much love. One of those moments I'll look back on years from now and wish I could have it back again. But, hopefully, the fact that I had it in the first place means I'll always have it in my heart, to re-live again and again.