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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Lucy - four months

Last Saturday Lucy turned four months old. Today I took her in for her four month check-up. She is getting so big and I guessed that she'd probably weigh about 15 pounds. I think the nurse's eyes were as big as mine when the scale told us she was SEVENTEEN pounds (plus FIVE ounces)! In addition, she's 27 inches tall. I came home and warned her brothers. At the same age, Hugh weighed 16 pounds 4 ounces and Ben was 14 pounds 12 ounces.

Our sweet Lucy Jane is just oozing with cuteness and calm. She brings such a different dynamic to our home. She is the calm amid the chaos; the soft amid the rough. The boys can be bouncing off the walls, but as soon as they approach Lucy they gather all their wild energy and with the most amazing restraint and control, they softly kiss her on the head. I have loved watching such a sweet side to them emerge when she is around, and I'm looking forward to watching how their love for her will continue to develop as they grow up together.

Lucy is such an easy baby, so sweet and so happy. She hasn't quite returned to her (really) long stretches of sleeping at night, but I'm really not complaining at all with what usually ends up as a couple of 5-6 hour stretches. Plus, when she wakes up in the middle of the night fussing and hungry, as soon as she sees my head appear over the side of the crib, she kicks her legs, spreads out her arms and gives a little squeal. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to wake up to that, even if it is at 2am?!

Before Lucy was born I was really preoccupied with thoughts about how she would or wouldn't compare to our twins. Would she look like them? Would she remind me too much of them? Would holding her make me happy or sad? Would life feel more complete with her or would her presence just remind me of the two that were missing?

It was a battle of opposing emotions and I had no idea how to prepare myself for so many questions that were unknowable beforehand. Lucy arrived and took her proper place in our family, not replacing anyone, but filling a new void that I wasn't even aware was there until she filled it with her light and her love. She has brought so much happiness into our family and so much healing into my heart. I do find myself thinking of the twins more often, but more in terms of anticipating the relationships that will come later when we're all reunited again.

For now, I'm loving every waking moment I have with my baby girl. She and I are pretty much inseparable and I really don't mind her need to be near me at all times. I love the nearness of her and feel so grateful for the light she has brought into my life.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


For Halloween this year Ben was a "Rocket Boy" or "Rocket Guy"... basically The Rocketeer. He was so excited as I was putting the finishing touches on his costume that he starting saying, "Push the button. Up in the sky." He actually thought his costume would make him fly. Cute kid. I just love his active imagination.

We were actually going to have Hugh be a rocket guy, too, but then one day I decided to give them a couple of different options and Hugh actually chose to be a football player. I decided to go ahead and start on making helmets for both costumes (out of paper mache) and then ask Hugh again and again what he wanted to be for Halloween, to make sure his 2-year old mind was made up. And, surprisingly, every time I asked him "what do you want to be for Halloween?" the answer was consistently "football player."

And, that was how we decided that Lucy would be a football. Not the cutest idea for a sweet baby girl, but it was simple and easy. And, I figure it's in my best interest to go with simple and easy before they gain a super strong opinion of their own.

As I was in the middle of the costume creation process I was coming up with all kinds of alternate plans, feeling just slightly embarrassed for my kids in the event that they all looked a little ghetto in their homemade, pieced-together costumes. But, I was actually very happy with how they all turned out and was so pleased at the responses we got from people at our church's trunk or treat. Turns out everyone loves a good, old-fashioned, homemade costume... even if they do look a little pieced-together.

Before going to the church's party, we went to one house - Ben's teacher. She invited the boys inside and gave them each a small flashlight along with their choice of candy from their tray. It was cute to watch their little hands hovering over the tray, trying to figure out which of the tantalizing treats they would choose. I think Hugh picked a Hershey's bar and Ben went for the plain M&Ms.

When we turned to leave, there was a small group of older kids who had gathered at the front porch. I turned to grab Hugh's hand and saw the frightened look all over his face. The kids at the door were dressed in some pretty convincingly scary costumes and Hugh had no idea what was going on. As I tried to coax him out, he backed further into the house saying, "no, no". I was finally able to reassure him that it was okay and we left. But, the whole 50 yards to our car, he kept looking back, worried we were being followed. And, since Halloween has never been a favorite holiday I totally understood.

So, that was our fun Halloween. The boys crashed when we got home and slept in later than usual the next morning and Marc even said, "if only Halloween were every night." Who would have thought?! Plus, since we went the homemade route, the only things we had to buy were two cans of spray paint and pipe cleaners - less than $10. And, I'm hoping that next year they'll just want to swap costumes! I guess time will tell.