praying, hoping, wishing...

For the most part, I am an optimistic person. While I'm not necessarily "bubbly", I tend towards finding the good, the positive. Today, however, I've found myself in a little bit of a funk, and a lot of emotions have surfaced.

Our life has been filled with adoption-related things for the past seven months or so - paperwork, interviews, more paperwork, and more interviews. That phase ended almost two months ago, and now we're in the waiting phase. Waiting for our prayers to be answered; waiting for the right young woman to find us; waiting for a baby to fill our home and hearts.

As I was sitting here feeling sad about our situation... four years of struggles and frustrations of trying to start a family, countless doctor's appointments, and now entering this phase that could realistically last anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of years... I started to think about others out there who are struggling with their own set of challenges. Heaven knows I'm not the only one with a heavy heart.

And I wondered specifically about the young woman who will eventually cross paths with us... and I wondered what she must be going through right now. Maybe she is struggling today. Maybe she is feeling scared and heartbroken. Maybe she is digging deep for all the courage and faith to make, perhaps, the most important decisions in her life. Decisions that I would never want to face.

And, if I knew that she were reading this right now, I would want her to know that I am praying for her. I would want her to know that, even though we haven't met, I think of her everyday. I would want her to know that I'm looking forward to meeting her and building a relationship with her. I would want her to know that there is and always will be a place for her in our hearts and family. I often find myself hoping that she is surrounded by loving arms.

I don't know why things haven't worked out for us to have children. I don't know why God allows some things to happen but not others. I don't know why the plans for our lives don't quite turn out like we expect. But, I trust that He knows something I don't know. He sees a broader perspective of our lives, and He knows certain things that need to happen in a certain way. I trust that when the time is right He will allow us to cross paths with very special people, who will bless our lives forever. In the meantime, we'll be praying and hoping and wishing for that day to speedily come.

- Megan