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Monday, November 23, 2009

Blessings - Part 1

After writing that last post, I intended on writing a follow-up the very next day. I thought I would finally find the right words to share what happened next. But, I'm still struggling.

Have you ever experienced something that feels so special that, while your heart shouts for joy, shouting it from the rooftops seems inappropriate? Instead, you want to whisper it quietly into the ears of those who are closest to you, hoping that they'll feel the sacredness of what you're sharing.

Over the last couple of months, we've felt completely overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude for the healing we've found in the last year. Choosing to go through every grueling part of the grieving process has turned out to bring a new beauty to life. And, in seeking to know and understand my role and purpose in this season of my life, I've found answers come in the form of blessings that I never expected, that I never could have dreamed of.


Here's me whispering in your ear...

On the last day of August, we received the first bit of unexpected and joyful news. Even though we hadn't officially gotten back into adoption, we received an email from Tracey, a birth mother, letting us know she had chosen us to adopt her baby boy. The experiences that led her to find us have felt so clearly Divinely guided. From our first contact with Tracey, we have felt the Lord's hand in this blessing, this miracle. And, I can't help but wonder what role certain angels have played in helping this all to happen.

It is difficult to express the love and admiration we feel for Tracey. I have struggled a bit with the contrast of emotions that come with this approaching adoption. While we feel joy at the blessing this little boy will be in our family, we know the choice for Tracey is not an easy one. It pains me to think of the grieving process she faces. We know something of pain and heartache from losing a child and it hurts to think that she might be experiencing some of that. That's why I'm so relieved with our mutual feelings about having a very open adoption. I hope that through the years we can somehow find a way to adequately express our love and gratitude to Tracey.

As expressed in this article about adoption, our greatest hope for Tracey is that she will find "that from the ashes of [her] deepest pain, [God] has made something beautiful."

I find great comfort in my firm assurance that she and I share the same loving and merciful Father who sees the full picture of our lives and knows the details of every feeling, every unspoken yearning, every hurt and every fear. Because of His perfect love, He knows how and when to send the right joys and pains that will teach us lessons of life that will help us become who He intends for us to become. He clearly works in mysterious ways... and I'm constantly amazed at how perfectly those mysteries are resolved.


Baby Boy is expected to arrive January 11th.

(That's only seven weeks away!)


41 comments:

Ashley said...

this post caused me to weep. i am so full of joy for you and your family and will keep tracey in our prayers.

congratulations.

Kate said...

can i just echo Ashley's words exactly?
tears of joy coursing down my cheeks for you . . . i pray that the next 7 weeks will fly by and that you and Marc, and especially dear Tracey will be blessed abundantly! :)

dust and kam are hoping to adopt! said...

Oh Megan! What wonderful news! What an exciting time for your family! So, so happy for you two.

Thinking of you always!

Amy said...

My gift to you is a long, weepy cell phone message :o)
When I told Jared he simply said, "They can name him Jared." He always knows how to make the most of a moment! (but just so you know, he got all choked up and teary eyed, too).
I just have no words for this news...

Jolie said...

Tears, tears, tears. My heart is so touched and full of happiness for you. If I were a birth mother, I would choose you and I'm so grateful that someone has seen what a wonderful mother you will be and has chosen you. I'm reminded of when we first learned that a birth mother had chosen us for her baby boy. That was a year ago, but the memories are forever tender and sweet. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

LilMisfit said...

Congratulations! What wonderful news! I had no idea...how sneaky you are! :) I can't wait to read more about him and see his pictures posted!

--Jamie

brossettelewis said...

Congratulations! I'm crying for a semi-stranger. I am so happy for you. I think of you two often and am so happy to hear a little boy is on his way. January 11th (my sister's birthday too) can't come soon enough. :)

Kaija said...

I whisper back into your ear, perhaps from the temples of our hearts, *thank you* for sharing your sacred joy with us. i am uplifted. i can only imagine what this must feel like for you, from the inside. my prayers are with you and your growing family.

Mandi said...

Funny how even though I knew this news before this post I read it with excitement, wonder, and happy tears!

Somehow seeing it here makes it seem more official. I am so, so excited for you and Marc. I can't wait to meet your son!

Andrea said...

I have CHILLS reading this post!! I'm so happy for you Megan and Marc. Seriously...tears of JOY. Words truly can't express the excitement I feel at this moment hearing this wonderful news. I will be praying for you and for Tracey. Can't wait to see your gift from heaven.
Sending my love,
Andrea

Allred Mom said...

I totally agree with Mandi on this one. We are so excited for you. And I am so ready to have that baby shower for you! :)

Tears of joy are falling for you and Marc!

Love ya tons and can't wait for little boy Carsons arrival!

JamesandXochi said...

Marvelous! I am thrilled that you are entering the next stage of your life,and that you are again able to taste joyous miracles. My husband James is a cousin of Marc and we have followed your blog as you have come down this path. We too are experiencing the adoption miracles first hand, and shed tears both of joy for you and admiration for your birth mommy. Congratulations!

Jared,Tamara +Kylie Morgan said...

(whispers back)

Oh my goodness!!! I'm SOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU Megan! I've been hoping and holding my breath for so long for some wonderful news to grace your home. What a blessing this is.

Adoption has truly blessed our family beyond belief and I'm so happy for this new adventure you'll be en embarking upon. May happiness fill your home after the sorrows you've experienced over the past year or so. I'm sure your little daughters are so excited for you.

Erika said...

This is just WONDERFUL news!!! Congrats! (((hugs)))

-Erika

littletinyfootprints.blogspot.com

Mindy said...

I cannot even begin to tell you how happy this makes me!!! Your little one is going to be here in SEVEN weeks!!!! Megan, congratulations! Yay!!!

Jennifer Templeman Beckstead said...

That is so wonderful! I am weeping tears of joy for you, and will keep you in my prayers.

The Pollards said...

Chills...many many chills. Megan you and your sweet husband have prayed for understanding and in such times of trial we can only understand the Lord's will one opportunity at a time (but you know this). We will be praying for you and this sweet birth mother and hope for only the best things for your special family and beautiful son.

Allred Fam said...

wow, I am truly shocked! I too remember sitting in a room for LDS social services and bawling my eyes out because after everything we could get a baby that soon. I just couldn't believe it! It all seemed so calm and it was like the news was quietly given to us, "the time has come." (I never adopted because I got pregnant.) But I bawled and everyone probably thought I was a mental case. But wow, what a drastic change of events for you! so happy for you, the next 7 weeks will fly by, I just can't believe it. Will be so much anticipating watching your preparations and the arrival. :)

Shellee said...

Congratulations! What an exciting time for you and your family, keeping you all in our prayers.

Carrot Jello said...

Yay yay yay!!!

Carrot Jello said...

Oh, sorry I yelled.
Congratulations :)
no,
:D !!!!

Charity said...

Megan, what a wonderful blessing! I read your post with tears overflowing. You have been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be so. Your Friend.

Ence Family said...

Congratulations!! We are so happy for you. You are in our thoughts and prayers!! We pray that everything will work smoothly for you....you both deserve this wonderful blessing!

Liz said...

Thank you for sharing this WONDERFUL news! I can't stop smiling for you and your family. Happy thoughts are being sent your way!!!!!

Roxane said...

Congratulations Marc and Megan. We are so happy for you. Lots of love to you.

Amy said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! :))))

Heffalump said...

That is SO Awesome!

hillishilarity said...

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO
YAYYAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAAAAAAAAAAY!

What a wonderful (and no doubt nerve wracking!) time for your family.

Courtney Lee said...

YAY!! Congrats Megan. I am so happy for you. You will be the best mother I can think of! You are always in my prayers!

The Wright Family said...

Congratulations! Such exciting news.

Liz said...

I've been blog stalking you for awhile and thought it would only be fair if I offered you an invite to my blog! I had to make our family blog private so send me your e-mail address to eferris@hotmail.com. Once again...CONGRATS!!!

Kelly said...

pure JOY!

Megan, I haven't talked to you in ages and I miss seeing you around the stake. Can't wait to see you with your little man in your arms. :-)

Christian and Jennifer said...

Congratulations, you sweet girl! No one deserves it more! I will be praying whole-heartedly that everything will work out. I love you!

Amanda said...

Congrats! I am praying so hard that all is smooth for you and that you might experience the joy of raising this little one. I don't know anyone that deserves it more.

Brenley said...

I totally thought I had left a comment before!

I am so incredibly excited for you! I cried when I first read this post, because when I had read the previous post I knew that you would have a little miracle coming to you soon and was hoping that my feelings were right.

You are truly an amazing example of the kind of person I would like to become.

I love you!
Sending you a million prayers and hugs from our house to yours!

KieraAnne said...

I am so happy for you two! You seem like such amazing people and I know you'll be great parents. You're in our prayers and I hope everything turns out just wonderful for you all. Congratulations!

Yvonne said...

Congratulations.

(What a wonderful post.)

Jill said...

I followed a link from carrot jello's website and was moved to tears. You expressed so eloquently your good news combined with Tracy's bittersweet decision. Thank you so much for your words about God's blessings!

Lefty said...

Congratulations. (I am Marc's cousin--Joy's niece.) That is such a wonderful way to bring a child into your family.

Kayce Pearson said...

Oh sweetheart, congratulations!! I am so happy and excited for you guys!!!

kimsueellen said...

Tears...will you please ask him to come on my birthday? The 9th? What better present for Christmas can there be? Congrats a million times over. Tracey will be in my thoughts and prayers.