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Thursday, March 10, 2011

When I see you smile

(Note: I wrote most of this post yesterday about my day yesterday, but didn't quite have it finished before going to bed last night. Not that any of you care about a detail like that, except that today's weather was so much different than yesterday's, which would have drastically changed this entire post. Just so you know... and just in case any locals wonder how I got the sun to shine on me alone while the rain poured down on everyone else. Ha!)

I'm not really sure why, but this week has felt a little more overwhelming than usual. Just a lot on my mind, I guess. When this morning started off with a bit of a bang, I knew I needed to do something to find calm.

After the morning naps, I loaded my boys in the stroller and off we went. First stop: their favorite fountain. It's been a while since we've paid it a visit and I knew they'd be happy to see the water shooting up into the air, like it does. And, happy they were! I'll do anything to see smiles like that from them.

We paused for a few minutes, but then continued on our way. We ended up heading toward the cemetery. The promise that the twins' resting place would provide peace and perspective has continued to be the case and on a day like today I felt like it was exactly what I needed. Even just on our way there, I found my overwhelming thoughts to be pointless and insignificant.

It was the perfect day for a purging. The air was crisp, but the sun was warm. Blossoms were everywhere and the birds' songs accompanied us the entire way. At one point I looked down at my boys and saw that they were holding hands - not the usual ouch-you're-hurting-me hold. This time it was clearly more affectionate and gentle. It was so cute that I tried to get a picture with my phone, but as luck would have it I wasn't fast enough.

It was in that moment that I could almost feel the unimportant things on my mind flying away with the wind. There wasn't anything more important than the happiness of these two boys and as long as I was doing my best to provide that for them, everything else could take its proper place of priority.

Benjamin fell asleep before we reached the cemetery and as soon as we started back home, Hugh started looking up and back at me, as if to ask "are we there yet?" and did it about every two minutes, just like you would expect. When we finally returned home it was clear that satisfying hunger was the top priority. Marc helped by feeding the boys their appetizer of applesauce while I threw together the main course - french bread pizza.

And, right in the middle of making my boys their pizza lunch, a song came on the (internet) radio that was the perfect song for today.

Seriously, so true. When I see my little boys smile, I really do feel like I can do anything. Well, not anything... but anything that is important and necessary for their growth and well-being.

Here are just a few of their smiles from this week:

When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me


Mandi said...

Cute smiles! I love it! And I love you!

Amy said...

they're getting so big! And so handsome!!!!
I'm completely planning that Maggie will date one of them at BYU someday. Either one will do ;)