A Memory and a Reminder

My sister, Mandi, has been in town for nearly two weeks... and she still has one week left to spend with us. It has been awesome. We've been running together in the mornings, taking our kids to the park almost every afternoon (only staying home on the few days of rainy weather), preparing meals together, working together on a giving my parents' kitchen a little bit of a face lift, we've talked and laughed and talked some more. And, our four kids have had playmates, which has been so fun to observe. I just wish we didn't live so far apart from each other and we could have more of these moments more often.

But, earlier today I realized that I should just be grateful to have any of these moments at all, even if they don't happen nearly as often as I would like. Mandi reminded me that it was fifteen years ago today that she was in her car accident that could have easily ended her life.

It was 1996. I was nearing the final weeks of my senior year of high school and she had just turned sixteen. I had made plans that Friday night to go see a movie with some friends - Twister, I think it was - and had assumed the car would be free for me to take. Then, just before I was about to leave, I watched Mandi bounce her way down the driveway with the car keys in hand, clearly with plans of her own to take the car for the night.

I remember feeling so frustrated and angry that she was taking off with the car, leaving me (the older sibling) with the only option of riding my bike to join my group of friends for our movie night. I yelled some not-so-nice words at her from our front porch, which didn't stall her one bit, which made me feel even more upset.

And, even though I was still fuming while watching her drive away, there was this slight feeling of regret for the feelings I felt and the things I said. The regret ate away at me all night.

It wasn't until much later that night, nearing midnight, when I returned home to an empty house, that I immediately knew something was wrong. Soon after stepping through the front door, my parents called from the hospital. Mandi had been in a serious car accident. The car was totaled, and Mandi's life was spared by fractions of an inch (literally). She lost control of the car on a dark, winding gravel road. The car flew off the road down a sixty foot cliff, landing on its nose into a river bed - with a tree going through the front windshield.

Somehow Mandi and her guy friend (literally) walked away from the accident back to his house (a half mile away or so), where his mother (a nurse by profession) quickly bandaged up their bleeding wounds and rushed them to the hospital.

I arrived at the hospital just in time for the doctor to stitch up some of Mandi's deep cuts on her left hand. I sat next to her bedside, letting her squeeze my hand with her right hand. That wasn't so bad. But, watching the bloody throbbing open hole in her neck made me turn all shades of blue and nearly passed out myself. Doctors and policemen were all stunned by the relatively minor injuries that were so close to being deadly, which would have matched the looks of the car.

Growing up, Mandi and I had our fair share of squabbles like the one we'd had the night of her accident, but all of a sudden the fragility of life made me realize it just wasn't worth it. Seeing her all bloody and cut up on that hospital bed, I was just so relieved to still have my sister. I wished so much I could have taken back the hurtful words I had left between us before she left that night. In the days that followed, I felt like the accident was my fault; fate's way of teaching me a lesson I would be sure to never forget. Well, it worked.

And, now that it's been fifteen years and our relationship has grown stronger than I ever could have imagined, I'm so grateful we've had these years to share together and for the memories we've made together. And, now to be providing chances for our children to make their own memories together makes my heart happy. I just can't imagine what the last fifteen years would have been like without her... it makes me sad to even think about.

Reflecting today on the fortunate events, and even miracles, that saved my sister's life so many years ago, has reminded me to be more grateful for each moment of this fragile life. As much as I don't like that phrase "you just never know...", it's actually true. You just never know. The gift of today is all we can count on for sure. And, I'm just grateful for the reminder to make the most of it.

Surprise visit

All day Friday we anticipated my parents' return from there little jaunt two states away, to visit some of my siblings over the last couple of weeks. Finally at about 5:15pm, just as Ben was helping me clean up his toys so we could get started on our bath-/bed-time routine, we heard a knock on our door.

It wasn't my parents' usual knock, though. It was a softer knock. Marc looked at me curiously and asked who it could be. I wasn't expecting anyone (other than my parents). He answered the door and in walked this little girl:

That's my niece, Audrey. (That's her at her home, two states away, where it's very cold and snowy right now. There's no need for her umbrella here, or the sweater for that matter, in our 76 degree weather.) Following her through our front door was her brother, Lucas:

Unbeknownst to me, my sister made some very secretive plans to make the 13+ hour drive with my parents (and her two little ones) to spend a surprise week with us.

(I got all of these photos off my sister's blog, since I haven't gotten any photos of them since they arrived. Maybe tomorrow I'll finally remember to charge our camera battery, so it's working again.)

I was so stunned. I think the first words out of my mouth were something along the lines, "Nuh-uh!" I had just talked to Mandi on the phone less than two hours before, wanting to know what time my parents had left her house that morning, so I could get an idea of when they might be getting into town.

She was so, as the Italians say, furbo. (Which basically means sly, but it describes how she was better than just saying she was sly.) For the last couple of weeks, she's known about her plans to come and never gave any hint that she was coming, even during our phone call, just moments before they arrived.

It has been a fun weekend. I mean, how could it not? Pancake breakfast, cousins getting (re)acquainted, an afternoon playing on the swings and the slides at the park, the three boys (each five months apart) playing with the ball air popper toy, a crazy day at church (four adults with four little ones - I'm sure we provided some good entertainment), a delicious steak dinner with these amazing potatoes that my sister made (I have to get the recipe!), more playing on the floor with the kids, hide 'n seek, and good-night kisses.

The good news: they're here ALL week!

The bad news: time flies when you're having fun. Saturday is going to come much too soon.

Newest nephew

I've been thinking a lot today about a little boy. A heaven-sent little boy; a little boy who has possibly had interactions in the last year with our little girls, his cousins. He's scheduled to make his arrival tomorrow morning to the loving, waiting arms of my sister and her husband. I live far away and won't be there to welcome him. But, you better believe it's high on my list of priorities to spend some quiet moments with him, hoping he'll whisper in my ear all the mysteries of heaven. Or, at the very least, that his presence will bring some reassurances.

I'll be thinking of my sister tomorrow, and the sacred experiences that will come with the arrival of her son, wishing I could be there with her, like she was for me a year ago. While many of our family members gathered around us for the girls' memorial this time last year, Mandi was already in town to help me post-surgery and was at the hospital with us the night of July 16th - the night Elliana and Emmaline were unexpectedly born. She felt what we felt in that sacred place; she held our girls. And, she held my hand at 4am the following morning when I woke up in a panic. There are no words to express the love and relief I've felt for her presence in my life, especially that night, such a big moment in our lives.  

For that reason and so many others, I wish I were there with her for this big moment in hers. I feel confident that the dawn of a beautiful morning is around the corner, with the welcome of a little Mr. Christian. I wonder if he already understands how blessed he is. Not only does he have the most compassionate mother and generous father, he has the most adoring big sister. Not to mention an aunt and an uncle with lots of love to give.

And... a very cool sports bathroom.

Welcome to this adventure, little man. Can't wait to meet you.

Mandi's little Audrey

I posted the other day about my little sister being in the hospital to have her baby, and in case there was anyone wondering how that went, everyone is back home - happy and healthy. Mandi and Adam are the proud parents of a baby girl, born at 11:57pm on Thursday, the 29th. She weighed 6 pounds 8 ounces and measured 18 and a half inches long. They have decided to name her: Audrey.


For those of you who know my sister, you know that she has always been a big fan of Audrey Hepburn, so it feels very natural for her to have a daughter by that name. With the fantastic parents that this little Audrey has been blessed with, she will no doubt possess great beauty, grace and poise. We're thrilled for them and can't wait to meet the newest addition to our family!

Trailing clouds of glory...

Today my heart is full. I got a phone call early this morning from my little sister, Mandi. She was calling to let me know that she's at the hospital, awaiting the soon arrival of her first child, a baby girl. I am overwhelmed with feelings of love, joy, and excitement at her news. My thoughts and prayers are with her today as she has this most sacred experience of bringing a sweet little spirit into the world today.

I thought I'd post one of my favorite poems and a couple of my favorite quotes. Babies truly are miracles, such precious gifts from God.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting
The soul that rises with us, our life's star
Hath had elsewhere its setting
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forget fulness,
And not in utter nakedness
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God who is our home.

- William Wordsworth

About sixty years ago, F. M. Bareham wrote the following:

"A century ago (in 1809) men were following with bated breath the march of Napoleon and waiting with feverish impatience for news of the wars. And all the while in their homes babies were being born. Who could think about babies? Everybody was thinking about battles. In one year between Trafalgar and Waterloo there stole into the world a host of heroes: Gladstone was born in Liverpool; Tennyson at the Somersby Rectory; and Oliver Wendall Holmes in Massachusetts. Abraham Lincoln was born in Kentucky, and music was enriched by the advent of Felix Mendelssohn in Hamburg." (We might add, and Joseph Smith was born in Vermont, four years earlier.)

Quoting Bareham further:
"But nobody thought of babies, everybody was thinking of battles. Yet which of the battles of 1809 mattered more than the babies of 1809? We fancy God can manage His world only with great battalions, when all the time He is doing it with beautiful babies."

To quote Spencer W. Kimball on this topic:

"When a wrong wants righting, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants discovering, God sends a baby into the world to do it. While most of the thousands of precious infants born every hour will never be known outside their neighborhoods, there are great souls being born who will rise above their surroundings.....one mother gives us a Shakespeare, another a Michelangelo, and other an Abraham Lincoln. When theologians are reeling and stumbling, when lips are pretending and hearts are wandering, and people are running to and fro, seeking the word of the Lord and cannot find it - when clouds of error need dissipating and spiritual darkness needs penetrating and heavens need opening, a little infant is born."

Big weekend for my sisters

The only place I want to be this weekend is in Utah. Yesterday was my little sister's baby shower. She is due in a month, awaiting the arrival of her first baby - a little girl. And, today my big sister is blessing her sixth child, another little girl.

So, in honor of my two sisters and their exciting events this weekend, I wanted to let them both know how much I love them and how grateful I am to have them in my life. I'm thinking of you and sending all my love to you this weekend!

I am so blessed to be the middle girl in my family - I have these two amazing sisters who have always surrounded me with love and support through everything in life. They are amazing sisters - I love them dearly!

(To be fair, my five studly brothers are equally amazing! Sometime I'll have to post about them, too.)

This is Dawnette holding me... when? I'm not sure... maybe when I was about a year old? I was sure to be a hit with her, since she was surrounded by five brothers until I came! :)


And, here I am showing Mandi around the neighborhood, in our 3-wheeler, low-rider. (Don't you love our expressions?!)

I love you both! I'm wishing I were there with you today and everyday. Sending you big hugs!!