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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sunny's Adoption Story

My cousin, Sunny, has been affected by adoption in so many different ways that I find her perspective to be enlightening. I feel so grateful  that she would be willing to share some of her thoughts and feelings, especially since I know they must be connected to emotions that run very deep. I appreciate her openness and am so grateful to get a glimpse into some of the sensitive feelings that come with adoption, from many different angles. I've always felt a special closeness to these three cousins - Sunny and her sisters (all adopted) - and am so glad to call them family. Here is Sunny's story.

Thoughts on being adopted

* My parents with  me - my first day home

I was adopted through LDS Social Services 35 years ago. Things were very private back then, so I don't know a whole lot. I was 3 days old when my parents picked me up from the LDS Social Service Office. After six years of waiting my parents were so happy to finally be getting a baby. I was told at a very young age that I was adopted and it was openly discussed at home. I really never felt any different from other kids. My parents loved me and I felt like they were meant to be my parents.  

* Sealing day

Being adopted was not an issue with me. I also have two younger sisters that were also adopted so it was just a normal thing in our home. Sometimes I would feel awkward when people knew we were adopted but for the most part it was not an issue. Some kids would make fun of us but I never let it bother me. I always knew my parents loved me.

I often wondered about my birth parents and I asked my parents several times about my them, but since it was a closed or private adoption they had no information. I have often wondered what my birth parents were like. What was going on in their life at the time of deciding to place me. What they are doing now. Even though I don't know anything I am always comforted that everything is okay and that I have a loving family now. My middle sister does not know anything about her birth parents either. My youngest sister did come in contact with her birth mother. Her adoption was through mutual friends of our family. I have always had a tender spot in my heart coming from a family that was blessed by adoption.  

Experiencing the other side

I have also been on the other end - considering placing a child for adoption. I was a young single pregnant mother. I really wanted to marry the father of my child but he was nothing I had dreamed of, and he had no desire to marry me either. My parents suggested I work with LDS Social Services. It was really not what I wanted to do. I just wanted to raise my baby, but finally I softened my heart and went and listened to what they had to say. I was really touched and reflected on the courage and strength that my birth parents had to have.  

I ended up choosing to go through the adoption process. At the time the agency had me list what I wanted the adoptive family to have. Then they narrowed it down to a few families and I had to decide from there. I took it to the Lord and asked that he would help me decide which family I should place my baby with. I really never felt comfortable but finally narrowed it down to one.

As time crept closer I just kept feeling uneasy about the decision and would talk with my case worker about all that I was feeling. She let me know that they had the family I had chosen on hold and that no one else could pick them until I made up my mind. That made me start to think even more. This family had their dreams on hold because I couldn't make up my mind. Realizing it was very selfish of me, I told my case worker that I needed to stop the process and that my heart is pulling me to raise my baby myself.

I reflected a lot on my life and how much adoption effected my life and my parents. I thought of my child and what he would think of me and my decisions. In the end I ended up keeping my baby. I struggled a lot trying to raise my baby on my own. Knowing the fact that my baby would not have a father. My parents were very supportive and helped me through the tough times.

Blessed by adoption again

When my son was three-years old I got married. Dustin and I were married in the LDS temple and one year later my husband was able to adopt my son and has since considered him as his father. Finally, my dreams had come together. I am not saying that all stories turn out like this. But I am very thankful for the chance to experience adoption on both ends of it.  

* Wedding day

Adoption is a wonderful thing. It has a very tender spot in my heart. Someday I hope to find my birth parents so that I can find out more information about them. But most of all I can tell them Thank you! It may never happen.

I love my parents and would not have it any other way. They have been the best parents to my sisters and me.

* My family (all three adopted)

For a more recent glimpse into Sunny's beautiful life, you can find her blog here.

Thanks, Sunny, for sharing your story!


Anonymous said...
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Becky Rose said...

This is awesome to hear and to see all the pictures! Cute stuff!