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Friday, December 28, 2007

Puzzles and Movies

One of our favorite traditions at Christmastime is building puzzles. It's the only time of year we do it, so it always feels exciting to get out the puzzles. This year, we decided to buy a few new ones. We've finished one and are still working on the second one, but that should be done very soon.

And, while building the puzzles, we've been watching movies! There is a movie rental store we like to go to where you can rent 5 movies for 5 days for 5 dollars. There's nothing like movies and puzzles to make it feel like vacation!

The other night we were watching Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events and it was a little bit on the weird side, to be honest. But, I loved the ending and the message they brought home. Without giving away too much, this is part of a letter the children read after experiencing quite a few "unfortunate events":

At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in-fact be the first steps of a journey.

I loved that message of the movie.

Then, yesterday we watched Nicholas Nickleby, which is based on a novel by Charles Dickens. Another great movie, with a great message at the end:

In every life, no matter how full or empty one's purse, there is tragedy. It is the one promise life always fulfills. Thus, happiness is a gift, and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes, and to add to other people's store of it … What did these people do when their families shrank? They cried their tears, but then they did the vital thing. They built a new family, person by person. They came to see that family need not be defined merely as those with whom they share blood, but as those for whom they would give their blood.

Before we got into adoption, Marc and I talked openly and honestly about our ability to love a child that wasn't made up of our genes. We started first by looking at our nieces and nephews. Could we love them as if they were our own? Yes, of course. Then, we looked at the children of our close friends. Could we love those kids with a parent's love? Yes, definitely. Then, we started asking the same question, this time about children that we've never had any contact with.

Over and over again we have felt an overwhelming love overflow in our hearts. There is absolutely no doubt that we will cherish and rejoice in opening our hearts to any child that comes into our home, no matter how they get here. And, that is why I love the ending quote in Nicholas Nickleby. Family is so much more than genes and blood.

For much of the last few weeks, my thoughts have been turned to Joseph. I love this inspiring story of a young father opening his heart to a Son of another Father, and loving him and teaching him as his own child. It's an amazing story of the miracle of a family created by love.

On Christmas day I got to hold a friend's two-week old baby girl. Oh the joy! Such a perfect little soul. Fragile and beautiful, bringing out the most tender and gentle feelings. I have moments when I'm afraid that my desire to be a mother will lessen with time, like maybe I'll find some other area in life that will take priority over motherhood. But after moments like holding little McKenna, I feel the yearning has only multiplied with time. I think at times I may appear aloof around people with babies... only because I'm afraid to reveal the aching in my arms to hold a baby I can call my own. I am hopeful that day will come soon.

I know miracles happen and I know they can happen for me personally.


*Carly* said...

Oh megan. My hearts hurts and oh how I can feel you pain in such a different way. I just want to have a stable marriage and a family. I feel like it is such an untangable dream that I can only think about that others have that isn't in my grasp. I feel some days the way you do that with time I may just be fine being myself and then I meet someone that has a great spouse and I want it again. I try not to show it and may try to act normal but when I see others that are in love I feel COMPLETELY jealous. Life is interesting that way. At least we want something that is righteous. Heavenly Father will fulfill your dream because it is a righteous one and that is the purpose of this life is to be parents of His children. Love you!

Bryce & Brenley said...

I always love your words and thoughts! You are always in my prayers!!

Calamity Jane said...

Beautiful article megan. As always my prayers are with you two. I can verify to the world what wonderful nurturing people you two are. What a journey this life is. Sometimes it is so not fair. Ticks me off...Not that I am complaining Heavenly Father, but it is so hard to see the purpose in these things. I wish I could carry some of this burden with you. Well, hope and prayers do work, so I am just going to wear out heaven until they give in and get you that baby. I am aching to hold her or him and see Mel stand in the circle as she or he is blessed. I am going to be the best aunt. I will start crocheting right now.