I left an organ in Ogden (not San Francisco)

The last week of August my parents were planning a trip to Utah to attend baptisms of two of their grandchildren and at the last minute I decided I'd pack up myself and my three kiddos and go with them. Even though we were just there for our family reunion, I thought the boys would love another trip and I could spend some time with family and we could let Marc have a little quiet time to focus on getting work projects done. All in all it seemed like the perfect scenario for everyone.

Because of my parents' volunteering commitment on Wednesday mornings at the temple, Marc drove us down to meet them there and then drove their little car back home, while we continued on our trip in our van. We started the long drive across the desert at about 1pm.

Everything was going fairly well until a stop for gas in Elko, Nevada at around 10pm. As I was climbing back into the back seat of our van, I felt some pain in the middle of my back. It had been a long day of traveling and I figured I must have just twisted it funny when I got back in the car. But, then the pain seemed to spread around my rib cage to the front of my chest and tightened to the point where I was having a hard time breathing.

Not wanting to freak my parents out, I called Marc and asked him to look up symptoms of a heart attack. From what he read, it sounded like my symptoms were the same. Marc made me promise that if it got worse I'd make my parents stop and that even if the pain went away that I'd get checked out by someone within the next 24 hours.

As the pain got worse, I finally did tell my parents about the pain I was feeling and reassured them that when we stopped for the night I'd just take a warm bath and most likely feel much better. The warm bath did help, but when I was still awake and tossing and turning an hour later at 3am, I took another warm bath. I finally fell asleep sometime around 4am, only to wake up at 6am to feed Lucy again. Then back asleep for another hour before the boys were waking us up.

I felt tired, but the pain I'd been feeling was gone. The rest of the day I just felt a little off and slightly nauseous, but assumed it was from the traveling and lack of sleep. By evening I felt, more or less, back to normal and was enjoying time with my brother and his family in Ogden.

Then, in the middle of the night I found myself running to the bathroom with my body rejecting waste from both ends. Is there a nicer (less gross) way of saying that?? I was in a bedroom with my three little ones and in between my sprints to the bathroom I was up comforting and/or feeding each of my three kiddos at different points during the night. It was a pretty long night and I was feeling pretty miserable by the end of it.

After throwing up around 5am, I felt sharp pains in my chest and abdomen and knew that something wasn't right. Lucy was just waking up, so I fed her quick and then went into the bedroom where my parents were sleeping and told them I needed to go to the ER. Before leaving my brother's house, I was able to receive a blessing from my dad and brother, which seemed to ease the pain just enough to calm my fears just enough.

After a number of tests and an ultrasound, and few hours later, the ER doctor came in to let me know that I was having a gallbladder attack. In addition, there was a gall stone stuck in the duct that connects to the pancreas, and was causing inflammation in the pancreas as well. My condition was serious enough that I would need to go in for surgery right away.

Well, right away wasn't actually right away. But, shortly after noon I was knocked out while my gallbladder was being removed. As it turns out, the surgeon also found that I had an umbilical hernia and fixed that up while she was at it. I woke up to four small incisions in my abdomen, soreness all over my belly, pain in my right shoulder (from the air they filled my abdomen with), sores on the right corner of my mouth from the breathing tube, and lungs that burned as if I'd just run a marathon in Siberia. Plus, I was in a mental fog, struggling to come out of the anesthesia.

It was all very overwhelming and being separated from my babies, particularly my newborn babe, made me extra emotional. I had to "pump and dump" for about 24 hours after the surgery, but luckily Lucy adjusted fairly well to a bottle during that time and then adjusted back even easier to breastfeeding. Those 24 hours were awful. Even though I knew all three were in good hands - the best! - I slept terribly that night, feeling so alone without the breathing sounds and noises of my little ones to softly lull me to sleep. Instead, as fate would have it, there was a lightning storm all night that felt and sounded like it was attacking the hospital.

I survived my only night in the hospital and was released the next afternoon. I spent the next couple of days fighting feelings of discouragement. I had just fully recovered from Lucy's birth and felt like I'd just been knocked down again. I was pretty depressed to be back in recovery mode, which meant keeping the boys at an arm's length away, not being able to play with them, unable to do much rocking of my baby, since the doctor's one admonition was to not lift, pull or push anything over ten pounds for SIX weeks. I clearly haven't been good at following that, but I've tried to be careful.

Now that it has almost been two weeks since the surgery and we're back home, I'm feeling better. My wounds are still healing, both the physical and the emotional. I'm so grateful for the help I had from so many of my family members while we were in Utah, especially for my parents' help there and here.

I'm curious, though, if anyone else has had gallbladder problems. The ER doctor told me there is some connection to gallbladder attacks and pregnancy, but that they don't know why it happens exactly. I was also told that the attack could have been triggered by my sudden change in diet - by cutting out all dairy for Lucy's sake.

I guess whatever the cause, I won't have to worry about it happening again. So far I haven't noticed any change in the way my body functions without a gallbladder... and I'm down six pounds. Still, I definitely don't recommend it for a weight loss plan - there are much easier ways to lose six pounds!

Stay tuned

So, some of you may have noticed my blogging absence for the last few weeks. Part of that is simply because I have three little ones and very little free time. But, the bigger part of my absence came because of a little unexpected medical emergency that happened a couple of weeks ago. It's really quite the story... and as much as I hate to leave the story hanging like this, I'm exhausted and will tell you all about it tomorrow.

Ten Years of Genuine

Marc and I celebrated ten years of marriage a couple of weeks ago - August 23rd to be exact. With it feeling like a big milestone, we had talked about options of big ways to celebrate it together. But, with a newborn in the mix and other family things keeping our month pretty busy, we opted for making plans for a getaway to happen in the near future (like, hopefully within a month or two).

So, this year on our actual anniversary we kept things pretty low-key. Marc worked during the day, like normal, while I took care of the three little ones, like normal. Since my parents were away on a special getaway to celebrate their 50th anniversary (the day before ours), we got take-out for dinner from one of our favorite little joints in town - sharing the chicken/avocado sandwich and the chicken/avocado salad. It was delicious and a nice break from slaving in the kitchen.

Once the kids were all asleep, we sat on the couch and read love notes we'd each written for each other. One of my favorite parts of Marc's letter to me was how he appreciated the struggles we've gone through as they've only helped make our marriage feel less fake. And, I realized I agreed. Our struggles have made our relationship so much stronger and genuine. And, I really like genuine... even with all of its messy, imperfect parts.

After our love-letter-reading we perused furniture stores online - wanting to buy new couches as a gift to ourselves. And, then we pulled up a map and started making plans for our upcoming little getaway. We still haven't finalized the couch purchase nor our plans to get away, but hopefully we'll get to them both before #11 rolls around next year!

A new calling

A few weeks ago there was an important moment for my dad, which brought all of my siblings (except one) out for a quick weekend visit. It was so fun to be in on the surprise for my parents, who were not expecting the large gathering since we had just had our family reunion a couple of weekends before.

Half of my siblings arrived in the middle of the night and crashed at my house as soon as they arrived into town. We live just a couple of blocks from my parents and the halfway point is a big grassy field that you have to walk through to get to each others' houses. Early that Saturday morning, I called my parents to invite them over for a pancake breakfast, telling them that Ben and Hugh were asking for them as soon as they woke up.

What they found as they approached that grassy field was a handful of their grown children playing ball in the same grassy field where we played ball as young children. I wish I had thought to bring my camera to capture the looks on their faces. Precious and absolutely priceless.

The next day - Sunday - my dad was given a new calling (or assignment) for our Church, which was the important moment that caused us all to gather. He was called as the Patriarch for our area. For those of you who aren't of my faith, if you're interested in knowing more about patriarchs, you can read about it here. His primary responsibility will be to give patriarchal blessings, which you can read about here.

I've always felt very blessed for the family I belong to, particularly for the blessing of two wonderful parents. For those of you who know my father, I'm sure you'd agree that this new calling is the perfect fit for the kind of man that he is. I've also been given the unique opportunity to help him with secretarial type duties that will surely bring with it some incredible spiritual experiences to my own life. Good things to come, for sure.

Photo Update

So, it turns out I haven't taken a single photo since coming back from our trip. It's officially added to my unofficial list of things to do tomorrow. But, so is grocery shopping. And, right now I'm doing pretty good if I can accomplish one item per day... and food might just trump a photo shoot. Time is going so fast with my crazy days having three under three.

But, I went through our photos from the last couple of weeks and found some that I thought were worth sharing.

These first five photos of Lucy were taken when she was three weeks old. She got the cutest leg warmers in the mail from one of my dear friends and I had to let Lucy try them on!

As you can see, she is clearly not starving! I'm still a little shocked she's grown so much in her first month! Ben and Hugh better watch out...

Swaddled, three weeks.

I think I've mentioned how much Ben loves holding Lucy, also insisting on having the burp cloth on his shoulder. (Have I mentioned that Ben says "shoulder" in the cutest way? He says something like "sheizures" and it's so stinkin' cute!)

When we were in Utah, I got to meet up with one of my companions from my mission. It had been probably eight years or so since I'd seen her last and it was so much fun! She would hate for me to boast on her behalf, but I think it's pretty amazing to have a friend in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! I actually have some pretty funny stories of her trying to teach me to sing alto during our companionship study time in the four months we were together... turns out she's an awesome teacher and I'm a terrible student... or at least singer! Fun times, though! Camille, if you're reading this, let's not let another eight years pass before our next visit! TVB!! Ma, tantissimo!

Some more photos from our sailboat adventure at our family reunion. Notice me trying to keep Ben from falling (aka: jumping) into the water. That was how I spent the entire boat ride. I was exhausted by the time we reached land.

Here Ben is laying on the dock, trying to get as humanly close as possible to the HUGE carp swarming around in the water below. If he wasn't sticking his finger down to get bitten off, he was trying to lean in close enough to get a kiss. Not joking. I keep wondering when (or IF?) this boy of mine is going to understand boundaries that are meant to keep him safe. No fear of anything!

I can't remember if I already posted this one, but it's one of my favorites right now. So cute!

As is this one!

Playing with trucks in my sister's yard:

Oh, and if you'll notice Hugh's t-shirt - those were our family reunion shirts for this year. Marc designed them and I made them (ordered the shirts and ironed on the decals). Pretty fancy, eh?!

Lucy - one month

I really need to put some more photos of Lucy up, but I just haven't gotten around to getting them off the camera. I'll try to do that soon, but in the meantime she had her one month appointment the other day and I figured I'd at least update her current stats.

Lucy is tipping the scales at 11 pounds 15 ounces! (That means she's gained two and a half pounds since birth.)

She has already grown three inches - is now 24 inches long!

And, her head is measuring at 15.4 inches.

The nurse was so shocked at her length and had to re-measure her to make sure she got it right. She's in the 95th to 98th percentile for both height and weight - we clearly have a very healthy baby girl! She is already smiling lots and just starting to make cooing sounds. She typically wakes twice during the night - usually sometime around 1am and 5am. She hates laying down flat if she's awake and prefers a sitting up position to see what's going on. Both boys are growing more and more fond of her and constantly want to hold her and kiss her. Lucy has added so much happiness to our life in her first month. We are thrilled to have her in our family!

Baby blessing

While we were in Utah, we decided it would be a good time for Lucy to be blessed. My sister, Mandi, also blessed her nearly-three-month old Ezra on the same day. Usually baby blessings are done in church, but since we were attending a congregation that wasn't our own we made arrangements to have Lucy blessed at my sister's house after church.

As I dressed Lucy in her white blessing dress (with a pink slip underneath), I thought of my Grandma Hedy. She made the dress over 40 years ago for my older sister on her blessing day. That same dress was then worn by me and Mandi, and then again by my sisters' daughters - McKayla, Audrey, and Talea. And, now I was able to dress my baby girl in the same blessing dress.

As I handed Lucy to Marc and he was joined in a loving circle of other important men in her life (her Daddy, Grandpa, Uncles - Jamie, John, Matt, Danny, Dwight, Adam, and cousin Colton), I loved the feeling of protection and strength that came with that visual. I felt a calm reassurance that my little Lucy will be just fine with such good men in her life protecting her and loving her.

I won't recount here the specifics of her baby blessing, but there were some beautiful promises made and I got a tiny glimpse into the special soul of my baby girl. I feel so blessed and lucky to be the mother to this little spirit.

Family Time

We just got back from our first road trip as a family of five. I normally would not be going anywhere with a brand new baby, let alone on a 13-hour car ride two states away, but this particular getaway was something planned long before we even found out we were pregnant.

This particular getaway took us to a cabin at Bear Lake in northern Utah where we gathered with my family for a family reunion and to celebrate my parents' 50th wedding anniversary (which is coming up in a couple of weeks). We've been planning it for over a year and knowing my entire family would be together, I was determined to do everything in my power to be there with them, even making the drive with a three-week old and two two-year olds.

And, actually, all three kids did surprisingly really well in the car. We planned to make stops every 2-3 hours along the way to nurse Lucy and to let the boys get out and run around. It ended up taking a bit longer, but it was worth it to keep the kids happy. And, fortunately my recovery from Lucy's birth seemed to drastically improve just in time for our departure.

The family reunion was a bit like getting a glimpse of heaven, even with all the chaos that is bound to come with 48 people under one roof. That's right. Forty-eight. That's just my parents, my siblings and spouses, and grandkids.

We found the perfect balance of planned activities - family talent show, storytelling by Grandma and Grandpa, sailboat rides, swimming, fishing trip, photo shoot - and free time to just sit back and enjoy each other. It was three years ago that we were last all together, which meant that some in my family were meeting all three of my kids for the first time. Funny how much our situation had changed since our last reunion.

Ben and Hugh typically get really overwhelmed when surrounded by lots of people they don't know, so we fully expected them to be a bit clingy and uncomfortable being in an unfamiliar place with a large group of unfamiliar people, but right from the moment we first arrived they were running around screaming and being crazy with all of their 30 cousins. It was a little shocking, but so much fun to watch them warm up so quickly and have so much fun.

I didn't take nearly as many photos as I should have or would have liked, but luckily we had some done professionally that I'll share when they're available. Here's just a tiny glimpse of our time together.

It was wonderful to be reminded of how blessed I've been to have been given the family I have. While we are far from perfect and our relationships are continually evolving, it's pretty amazing how well all eight of us get along and enjoy being together. I think part of that is from our long road trips growing up - Christmas trips to Grandma's in Utah, then the two super long road trips to Alaska and New York (ten years apart, though). My parents were constantly providing memories and experiences for us to spend time together as a family, and even if those long hours trapped in a car at the time were less than fun, somehow they solidified our love for each other.

It was equally wonderful to celebrate the fifty years my parents have been together and to spend some time reflecting on how they did it and how much I hope we can accomplish the same. We are approaching the big ten year anniversary in two weeks, so we're on our way! I feel blessed to be surrounded by an incredibly supportive group of siblings (and their spouses) and to have parents who have provided a legacy of love and a foundation of faith for us to build from.