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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Waking up slow

Nights at our house lately have been a little rocky... for the last two months or so. Just when Ben had started to (more or less) sleep through the night, something threw him off track. Not only has he been waking more during the night, but he wakes up screaming. Some nights aren't as bad as others, but still we are feeling a bit frustrated that we haven't been able to figure out how to help him sleep better at night. 

I've heard that when babies start to go through major changes (like eating solids, crawling, teething, walking, etc...) that their sleep can be disrupted. With that in mind we've tried all kinds of different things to try to solve the problem. Nothing seems to be working. He is really close to getting his two bottom teeth in, so for now we're focusing on that as the culprit.

Anyway, after an almost three hour period of wakefulness in the wee hours of the morning, Hugh decided this morning to wake up earlier than normal. I scooped him up and fed him quick, secretly hoping he might decide to go back to sleep for a couple more hours. But, in his typical adorable fashion, as soon as I finished feeding him, he looked at me with his bright, wide eyes and smiled with his open mouth excitement, apparently for the start of this brand new day.

But, not feeling quite ready to gallop our way downstairs, I laid both of our heads down on my pillow. It was one of those mornings when I just needed to wake up slow. So, I smothered him with kisses on his cheeks and in return he told me one of his fascinating stories. Even though I can't understand them at all, there is no mistake when he talks that he has important things to say.

As I laid there next to him, with his little hand gently touching my cheek, I felt this feeling of renewal come over me. Physically I was exhausted after another long night of little sleep, but emotionally and mentally and spiritually I couldn't have felt any better. 

After an exhausting day the other day, I was thinking back to the years we had before welcoming Ben and Hugh into our life. Mainly thinking of the lack of responsibility that gave us the flexibility to do anything at any time - going out for a jog or a bike ride, take a spontaneous day trip together, going camping and hiking, going on longer vacations to faraway places, watching a movie without interruption, staying up late and sleeping in early. 

And, as fun and exciting as those days were (and I feel so grateful that we took advantage of our situation and actually made a lot of great memories together), this morning as I snuggled with my littlest boy I knew there wasn't anything better than what I have right now. 

As I type this, both my babies are taking their morning naps (hallelujah!) and I've just taken my shower and gotten dressed for the day (yes, I know it's after noon). And, so as to not wake Ben who is napping on his make-shift bed of blankets on the floor in the front room, I'm sitting on the kitchen floor, leaning against the fridge (which hides me from his view)... because I know if he sees me when he stirs just the slightest bit that naptime is over. And, he desperately needs his naptime today.

So, even though I can't even sit comfortably on the couch and write to my heart's content like I used to, I'd give it all up again and again to have what I now I have. Long, sleepless nights and all.

As long as they are followed by mornings like I had this morning.

Jack Johnson really got it right, didn't he? 


K said...

A perfect exemplification of the title of your blog -- loving the life you live, and seeking renewal in those everyday moments -- to be renewed is to breathe in what matters most! oh how i love your blog! thanks for hiding from your son's naptime view for long enough to share these thoughts with us.

Becky Rose said...

I've heard that for adopted babies give them a bottle of water at night, then they will learn there's no reward for waking up. Probably hard to do but maybe worth a try.

Love the new side pictures!

GlassBeach92 said...

i love how you write meg! I could see it all. Hugh laying next to you smiling and touching your cheek and telling his sweet mommy a little heart feel so good knowing you can experience such sweet, tender moments with your boys!