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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Our Adoption Story - Meeting Tracey

There are a few details that I meant to include in that last post, about how Tracey found us. 

When Tracey first discovered she was pregnant, adoption was not an option. It wasn't until after a specific conversation with someone close to her that the idea of adoption first entered into her mind. But even then she wasn't convinced. After some time had passed she finally decided to meet with someone at LDSFS, just to get some more information. 

That was when she met Jean - the same Jean that had been working with us for the last couple of years. As their first meeting came to a close, Jean offered to show Tracey some profiles of couples hoping to adopt. Tracey agreed, but with one request. She wanted to look at couples who had been waiting the longest. That was when Jean thought immediately of us, since we'd been waiting for over two years.

Our profile wasn't active online, but our agency had hard copies on file of our pictures and letter. Had Jean not thought of us, there would have been no way for Tracey to find us through the agency's website. Jean grabbed our profile along with a few others and gave them to Tracey. It was ours that she looked at first.

We have Jean to thank for thinking of us, heaven to thank for the special feeling that Tracey felt with us and not any of the others, and ultimately Tracey to thank for choosing us. Although it still took some time for her to be convinced that adoption was in fact the right choice for her and her baby.

So, with time and some work on her part, she was reassured of those initial feelings and that was when she contacted us. 

After a couple of months passed and our schedules lined up, we set up a time to meet in person, in early November. Marc and I met up with Tracey for lunch at a little local restaurant down by where she lives. We were pretty nervous. Although, not nearly as nervous as we were at our first meeting of a birth mother. I think since we had done it before we were a little more comfortable with just being ourselves with her, without worrying too much about what to say or how to act. 

We entered the lobby of the restaurant and the waitress immediately knew to direct us to Tracey's table. She pointed down the first walkway of tables and there in the distance was a woman sitting at a booth by herself. She was facing our direction and when she looked up and saw us, we knew she was the one. We made our way to her table and greeted with hugs. 

It seemed like it took us forever to get our order for the waitress, because we were so distracted with getting our conversation started. We talked about our families, about things going on in our lives, and just general get-to-know-you kinds of information. She told us about her 5-year old daughter, and I was struck with the way it made her eyes light up. 

Tracey and I even shared french fries (because apparently I was craving them that day), which normally would have felt really awkward for a first time meeting, but there was nothing awkward about even something as potentially awkward as that. That was when I knew this was not our typical first time meeting with someone who should be considered a complete stranger.

While we chatted and got to know each other, I wondered if others around us knew what an important day this was for us. I wondered if they saw Tracey and her growing belly and made the connection that we were brought together because of the baby she was carrying. These were all thoughts swarming around in the back of my mind throughout lunch... and I think I finally decided that people probably weren't even slightly aware of the magnitude of our meeting in that little booth by the window. 

Our lunch together lasted for a couple of hours and then we headed to Baby's R Us together to pick out a car seat. That was another moment, among other shopping mothers, that I wondered if people saw the three of us together and put the pieces together. 

We parted ways in the parking lot, with the promise to meet again very soon, which we did. Our next lunch meeting was about three weeks later, with the same comfortable and familiar feelings. And, finally one other dinner date that also included Tracey's daughter, my parents, and my sister (along with her husband and their two darlings). 

That dinner happened to fall on December 22nd, three weeks before Tracey's expected due date. I never would have guessed that in less than a week from that night that we'd be meeting again, this time to be introduced to little Benjamin.


Becky Rose said...

wow- what a great story!

Ashley said...

I had to giggle at the french fry comment.

when we were adopting, nothing that would normally be considered socially awkward mattered because of the fact that there was NOTHING that could be more awkward than the reason we were spending time together. As loving and natural as it feels, it's hard to feel awkward after you sit down with someone with the purpose of basically asking, "Can I have your baby? Like, please?"

Love that you're sharing this story. So many miracles.

Allred Mom said...

Thanks for sharing!
I love reading about your path to being Benjamin parents!

Love you, too!

brossettelewis said...

I love how your story is unfolding and that you are willing to share.

Kaija said...

i love your narrative voice. thank you for honestly sharing all these details with us. speaking of glowing parents -- marc is glowing in the photo below :)

Jolie said...

Megan, I love hearing adoption stories with LDS Family Services. I'm learning that there is no such thing as coincidences in these stories. Each shows evidence of Divine Intervention. Our Father in Heaven has a merciful plan for each of these precious, innocent little ones, including your sweet little Benjamin! Thanks for sharing your happy and uplifting story.

KieraAnne said...

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm so glad that everything is working out for you two!

Kristine Adler-Nissen said...

Dear Megan,
I only realized yesterday that you have a blog as well. I started reading it from the beginning and couldn't stop till I had read all of the posts. I am so sorry for all that you have gone through with the twins - I can't even begin to imagine what a loss it has been. Reading how you have coped with it has left me in total awe of your strength. And also really amazed at how your faith has helped you through. As you know I have never really been very religious, but reading your story makes me a bit envious of how you have been able to seek comfort in your scriptures.
I am so glad that you have finally gotten a chance to be a mother, Benjamin is such a cute little boy. And you are pregnant - wow, what a miracle. I will keep my fingers crossed for you and hope that everythings goes just perfectly with your pregnancy.

Thank you so much for your openhearted inspirating blog. I will love to follow your life - from the cold Scandinavia - through it!

Love Kristine

Angela said...

Hi-I found your blog when I was looking up info on adoption and Sarah Mcclaclan. I had to read more & more of your blog. We too have been hoping to adopt with LDSFS now for a year and a half. I was uplifted from reading your story. Thank you for Sharing. We were blessed with our boy Benjamin after 3 years of trying and now nearly 6 years latter we hope for another. It is wonderful to read your journey! Thank you!