... at church yesterday:
(okay, I might be a little biased...
you be the judge.)
For Ben's 8 week birthday, we took him to church. With it being his first time out, he did great! He was adored just like I expected he would be!
And, our most recent family photo:
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we'll need to update it, come May.
Crazy.
I've never felt a greater feeling of love than I do this year.
There is something about watching Marc in moments like this that just melts my heart. Seeing him naturally fall into the role of Daddy has made me fall in love with him on a completely different level.
And, I never would have imagined the kind of love I'd feel when I look into these beautiful blue eyes.
Then, to feel the constant movements of the little one on his way...
I'm literally overwhelmed with love from every angle.
And on this holiday that celebrates love, we can't help but celebrate Ben's birth mother, Tracey. After all, I know of few other selfless acts of love that can even compare. She has taught us the meaning of true love and we have a daily reminder of how blessed we are because of her love for her son and for us. We love her so much.
(Speaking of which, hopefully the final part of our adoption story will be up soon. I think you can see how hard it would be to divert my attentions from this cute little one.)
Love. Pure love.
There are a few details that I meant to include in that last post, about how Tracey found us.
When Tracey first discovered she was pregnant, adoption was not an option. It wasn't until after a specific conversation with someone close to her that the idea of adoption first entered into her mind. But even then she wasn't convinced. After some time had passed she finally decided to meet with someone at LDSFS, just to get some more information.
That was when she met Jean - the same Jean that had been working with us for the last couple of years. As their first meeting came to a close, Jean offered to show Tracey some profiles of couples hoping to adopt. Tracey agreed, but with one request. She wanted to look at couples who had been waiting the longest. That was when Jean thought immediately of us, since we'd been waiting for over two years.
Our profile wasn't active online, but our agency had hard copies on file of our pictures and letter. Had Jean not thought of us, there would have been no way for Tracey to find us through the agency's website. Jean grabbed our profile along with a few others and gave them to Tracey. It was ours that she looked at first.
We have Jean to thank for thinking of us, heaven to thank for the special feeling that Tracey felt with us and not any of the others, and ultimately Tracey to thank for choosing us. Although it still took some time for her to be convinced that adoption was in fact the right choice for her and her baby.
So, with time and some work on her part, she was reassured of those initial feelings and that was when she contacted us.
After a couple of months passed and our schedules lined up, we set up a time to meet in person, in early November. Marc and I met up with Tracey for lunch at a little local restaurant down by where she lives. We were pretty nervous. Although, not nearly as nervous as we were at our first meeting of a birth mother. I think since we had done it before we were a little more comfortable with just being ourselves with her, without worrying too much about what to say or how to act.
We entered the lobby of the restaurant and the waitress immediately knew to direct us to Tracey's table. She pointed down the first walkway of tables and there in the distance was a woman sitting at a booth by herself. She was facing our direction and when she looked up and saw us, we knew she was the one. We made our way to her table and greeted with hugs.
It seemed like it took us forever to get our order for the waitress, because we were so distracted with getting our conversation started. We talked about our families, about things going on in our lives, and just general get-to-know-you kinds of information. She told us about her 5-year old daughter, and I was struck with the way it made her eyes light up.
Tracey and I even shared french fries (because apparently I was craving them that day), which normally would have felt really awkward for a first time meeting, but there was nothing awkward about even something as potentially awkward as that. That was when I knew this was not our typical first time meeting with someone who should be considered a complete stranger.
While we chatted and got to know each other, I wondered if others around us knew what an important day this was for us. I wondered if they saw Tracey and her growing belly and made the connection that we were brought together because of the baby she was carrying. These were all thoughts swarming around in the back of my mind throughout lunch... and I think I finally decided that people probably weren't even slightly aware of the magnitude of our meeting in that little booth by the window.
Our lunch together lasted for a couple of hours and then we headed to Baby's R Us together to pick out a car seat. That was another moment, among other shopping mothers, that I wondered if people saw the three of us together and put the pieces together.
We parted ways in the parking lot, with the promise to meet again very soon, which we did. Our next lunch meeting was about three weeks later, with the same comfortable and familiar feelings. And, finally one other dinner date that also included Tracey's daughter, my parents, and my sister (along with her husband and their two darlings).
That dinner happened to fall on December 22nd, three weeks before Tracey's expected due date. I never would have guessed that in less than a week from that night that we'd be meeting again, this time to be introduced to little Benjamin.
