Letter to Hugh

* getting ready for our camping trip, Oct. 14th

Dear Hugh,

All day yesterday I kept thinking back to five months ago - to the day you had finally arrived. I still have a hard time remembering your birth and the immediate days following when you were so far away and I couldn't help but worry if you would be gone forever, before I had a chance to hold you and officially welcome you into our family. I can't even begin to express how relieved I am that you're here, that you're healthy and strong. The trauma from your birth is slowly disappearing and being replaced with joy that comes from watching your personality blossom and come to life.

Speaking of your personality... I'm afraid you've inherited a double dose of stubbornness from both Daddy and me. But, I'm reassured that that same stubbornness will be one of your greatest gifts as you grow and mature. You know exactly what you want, when you want it and there is no room for debate. On most days you're not a big fan of your car seat or the stroller and aren't afraid to let us know how passionately you dislike being strapped in anywhere. As soon as we free you from your seeming captivity, we are almost always met with an immediate open mouth smile... as if to let us know that you know you've got us wrapped around your little finger. And as much as I want to, I just can't feel frustrated with your desire to be cuddled and loved.

And, there is no shortage of people ready and willing to receive some of your cuddles. This past weekend you and I ventured off together for a little camping excursion and left Dad and Ben at home to have some bonding time of their own. Your ticket in was your need to be close to your food source, making you the lone baby boy in a sea of baby-loving women (and even a few baby-loving men, including Grandpa. I loved seeing how you both lit up every time you saw each other!). You were the best little camper I've ever seen! You were so content to be out among the trees and cuddled in someone's arms for the entire 30 hours we spent away from home. And, while I love seeing you loved and cuddled by others, you must know how honored I feel to hold you tightly and know you're mine. All mine.

Well, and Dad's too. You were so happy to see Dad again that you forgot how hungry you had been for the entire 90 minute drive home. Now that's love! And, it is so clear how you love him. Next time we go camping we'll have to make sure Dad and Ben get to come too.

I have just loved getting to know your personality. You have a tender soul and a strong will. You have an ear-piercing cry when you're fighting sleep, but the gentlest of giggles when your little belly is tickled. You are so pure and innocent, I constantly want to be a better mother for you and Ben, and a better wife, sister, and daughter.

Now that you're five months old, I'm counting my blessings more and more for your life that has been preserved. You are a joy, my little Hugh. I'm so grateful you are here with us and for the role you are filling in our family. Have you noticed how excited Ben is that you're starting to wiggle your way around the floor and interact a little more with him? He sure loves having you as his little brother and is so anxious for you to be big enough to play and wrestle with.

You are well-loved, by everyone who knows you. And, that's a lot of love. I hope you'll always know just how much you are loved.

Especially by me. Oh, how I love you, my son!