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Sunday, August 23, 2009

Seven years...

"...went under the bridge, like time was standing still... ." Gotta love this song from the 80's.

Seven years ago, two lives merged into one. Sacred promises were made. Our family unit was formed.

I was so clueless.

As a naive 24-year old I know I didn't fully appreciate the meaning behind our marriage covenants. Looking through a window of pain this last year has revealed a clearer perspective and a much deeper appreciation for the sacred events of that day, seven years ago. This year, especially, I've felt comforted with the assurance of relationships bound, here and there.  

I've been reflective this week, thinking about something we were told last year by my doctor, after we lost our girls. Eighty percent of couples that experience losing a child will end up getting divorced.

Eighty percent. Sobering. Sad.

In those early months, though, I definitely understood why. Grief is experienced and expressed in such different ways. It's confusing to face the chaos in one's own heart, making it totally overwhelming to then try to make sense of the unspoken chaos weighing down the love you share your life with. I took her words as a sort of warning. It put me on guard, determining to do my part in defending my marriage from the negative effects of grief. 

Last year as we marked our sixth anniversary, for the most part the day felt dreary and heavy. No matter how I looked at it, all I could see was the representation of six years of heartache, disappointment, pain. 

Today was different. Today we celebrated. We survived a very difficult year. Together. We are stronger, we are closer. And, that is something to celebrate. We ate warm, homemade peach pie, ala mode. We beat the odds. But, just because we made it through a really hard year (and the six before that) doesn't mean by any means that the fight is over. While I know good things lie ahead, I'm also aware of probable mountains yet to climb. Through the peaks and valleys of life, I feel inexpressibly grateful to have Marc by my side.


Kate said...

Happy Anniversary to you 2 . . . I'm so glad that you're working to keep your marriage one of the 20% . . . may the Lord bless you always! :)

Ashley said...

"A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right."

Looks like you guys already know that though.

Roxane said...

Happy Anniversary. Love you both.

KieraAnne said...

Happy Anniversary to you both! Congratulations on seven years. :)

Familia Fowler said...

Happy Anniversary! I don't know why that Dr gave you that stat, unless he knew you were more awesome than 80% of the rest of us...

Ence Family said...

Happy Anniversary!! 7 years strong!! Hope all is going well with you guys!!

Inkling said...

Happy Anniversary! I've been reading your blog for a long time now, and am learning so much from watching you respond to life. Seeing your faith and love for God and for each other, even in the midst of deep grief has been a high privilege for me to see.

Thank you for sharing your heart in this post. I needed it. It's been a hard year for my husband and I, and some of my responses would have destroyed our marriage if it weren't for the faithfulness and determination of my husband. It was good for me to hear your words today. Thank you.

Andrea said...

Congratulations Marc and Megan on making it through one of the hardest years. Happy Anniversary! Thinking of you always!

Michelle said...

Congratulations! Here's to 700 thousand more! :)

Allred Mom said...

You both are the best and we love you!
Thanks for letting us spend some time with you over the weekend!

Wishing you many, many more years...Yep....eternity is many more! :)