Marc and Megan Logo

family photo family photo family photo family photo family photo family photo

Thursday, May 8, 2008

All in a month...

So, we returned home from Australia and discovered some big changes were coming. I have to apologize for keeping you in suspense. I could have just jumped in and shared what's happened in the last month, but I felt like yesterday I needed to go back and reminisce a little about where we've been and what's happened in the last five years.

Because what came next is something we NEVER would have expected.

As you know, we both came down with some cold/flu thing the night before we came home from Australia... making that 18-hour plane ride home a complete nightmare. But, anyway, Marc got better after about a week. I, on the other hand, stayed sick and got progressively more sick.

And, then we found out why:
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

After five years of NOTHING, then all of a sudden THIS. These are just some of the feelings we've experienced:


awe
an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like

won·der
to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel

de·ni·al
disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing.

be·wil·dered
completely puzzled or confused; perplexed.

grate·ful
warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful


Still, after having weeks to let the news sink in, I can't say a prayer without weeping. I've thought a lot of Mary and her feelings after the birth of Jesus - "But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." And, this year in seminary studying the Old Testament... when we were discussing Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, I felt such a deep connection to their heartache and anxiously hoped to one day also experience their joy. And, now, with this news, feeling so overwhelmed and even undeserving.

I don't want to say we had "given up"... but, we were completely at peace with the probability that we wouldn't have biological children. We were so thrilled with our plans to create our family through adoption. We LOVE adoption. We will continue to be advocates of adoption and spread all that's good about adoption with all we know. We have gained SO MUCH from our adoption journey - knowledge, understanding, empathy, sensitivity... not to mention the incredible birthmothers we've met and other adoptive couples who have become such dear friends. And, hopefully we will still have the chance to experience the full miracle of adoption.

Words can't describe how grateful we are to the Lord for allowing our paths to cross with "B". We are so grateful for how she has blessed our lives. She has changed our life, simply from the example she has shown us of courage, of faith, of purity and integrity. We have never met anyone who matches the qualities she has already developed. She is one of the most amazing individuals we have EVER met. And, we're looking forward to a lifelong friendship with her.

As you can imagine, we've had some conflicting feelings and emotions over the last few weeks. While we are ever so grateful for the miracle of this pregnancy, it's been hard to let go of our plans and dreams of adoption. I guess, in the end, our dream is to realize the blessing of a family, however the Lord sees fit to allow that to happen. Things change, plans are altered... and I know the Lord is involved in the details of how and when things come together.

Sharing this news is very difficult for a few different reasons, one of those being that I know all too well how painful it is to hear the news of yet another person getting pregnant. It kills me to know that this news could be painful to someone out there. I don't know why this has happened for us. It's very humbling, even to the point where I know there are so many out there who are more deserving of this blessing than us.

It's also very scary knowing that there could still be "changes" that happen. We are trying to just focus on finding joy and wonder in the miracle that comes with each new day. And, we are filled with comfort, knowing that whatever tomorrow holds, the Lord will take care of and provide for us. He always has and He always will. As long as we align our will with His, we will always be okay.

Even better than okay.

Oh, and there is one other detail about this pregnancy:


36 comments:

Christian & Jennifer said...

Oh, Megan! Twins?!?! Congratulations a million times over! How very happy I am for you! Lots of hugs and prayers!

Carrot Jello said...

Woohoo!

Familia Fowler said...

Yay! It was great to talk to you. Congrats!

Mama said...

OHMYSTARS!

CONGRAAAAAAAAAATULATIONS from Florida!!

wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful

Heffalump said...

Yipee! Twins are awesome!

Carol said...

Congratulations! That is so exciting. I wish you the best.

Amy said...

OH. MY. GOSHHHHH!!!!!

I'm crying like a baby right now.

Those are some very lucky babies!!!!

Kate said...

umm . . . HOLY COW! Congrats x2! :)

Jamie said...

Oh my goodness!! That is so exciting! I was just asking Emi about you the other day, but she didn't know this gigantic news! I am so happy for you. DOUBLE happy for you! Congratulations!

aubrey said...

awesome!! congratulations to you both! hooray!

Jennifer B. said...

You don't know me, but I have faithfully checked in and your blog and am awe struck. Congratulations!!! I couldn't be more thrilled for you. Prayers coming your way.

Stacey said...

I popped over from Carrot's blog and I just wanted to say congratulations!! What wonderful news. Good luck and God bless!

Brenley and her boys! said...

Holy Freakin COW!!! That is the most amazing miracle, and you so deserve this! I am in shock, so I can only imagine the shock you must be in! I am going to pray so hard for those two precious little babies to be healthy and strong! Ok, if one is a girl you so have to name one after me,just kidding! I am just so dumbfounded it is making me giddy! Congrats, and again you SO DESERVE THIS! Love you!

Jamie said...

Hey again. I called Emi after I read your post and she mentioned that I might be able to give you a small bit of advice about medication that I have taken with morning sickness. I get it REALLY, REALLY bad. Like pretty much worse than anyone I know. Puking ALL day and night from about 6 weeks to 25 weeks or so. So if you want to know some of my tricks (which are not really great tricks), you can email me at JamieRButler[at]qwest[dot]net. I'd love to chat with you!

Your news is so unbelieveable! I haven't stopped thinking about you all night. I even told Mary, Jason's wife. It's so great!

Jill said...

Congratulations and Happy Gestating!!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I can't even begin to tell you guys how happy I am for you. I've been following your story via Carrot for awhile now and this ending to the story is the most incredible conclusion ever!

CONGRATULATIONS!

compulsive writer said...

Oh my.

Congratulations!

Oh happy day!!!

Amy said...

Congratulations, I am SO happy for you!

Annie said...

Hooray!

No Cool Story said...

YES! YAY YA YA YAYAYAYAYAYAAAAYYYY!

b. said...

I've been following your story via Carrot with interest (as a 3 time adoptive mother).

Congratulations!!

KIM, DANNY, SHAILEY, ELI and ISAAC said...

Ok, so we totally don't know one another but I was reading Brenley's blog and she mentioned you so I hopped on over to your blog. I just want to say congratulations to you and I wish you the best of luck with your little ones! :o)

mindyluwho said...

I haven't checked in for awhile...and to be greeted with such exciting news! Congratulations seems so inadequate...I'm overflowing with joy for you!

RoRo said...

I clicked over from Brenley's blog and just want to say congrats, how amazing your story is. Please don't hold it in, tell the or actually shout it out to the whole world, you shouldn't be afraid of those that 'hate hearing that another person is pregnant and their not' that is that person's fault, I know where I'm coming from because I can't have children, we have gotten approved for adoption and then had to be put on hold for my health, but I am always so happy to hear when someone is pregnant, it's a happy thing, tell everyone. Every persons plan for children is different and some just wont be a mom no matter how much they desire to be (like me), so even though it won't work for me I am so so happy it is the right time for you. And twins how super exciting:) sorry this is so long.

Mama said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Yvonne said...

I just came from carrot's blog--Congratulations. I'm so happy for all of you.

NOBODY said...

Came from Carrot's as well. What an unbelievable ending to your post. That is the most beautiful ultrasound pic I have ever seen. I'm so happy for you guys, and I don't even know you.

Happy Mother's Day!

SoDak Angel said...

That is absolutely fantastic!!! Wonderful news...so happy for you and your family...what lucky little babies!

Chell said...

Congrats!!! Wow, thats so absolutely awesome! :-) I followed the link from Carrots blog and just wanted to say all of the above! Best wishes for the future all the way from Africa! Chell

Head Nurse/Patient- you be the judge said...

How AWE-some! I commented before on your grandma's birthday- I live in Vernal and my second oldest is adopted. CONGRATS!!!! The Lord blesses us best when our backs are turned. My son was 9 months old when I got pregnant with my daughter after 10 years of trying to have another child and being blessed through adoption. I am so truly happy for you both.

Carrot Jello said...

Happy Birthday you two!

Kamie said...

Happy Birthday guys!

Amanda said...

Oh my gosh!! That is so exciting! I;m so happy for you guys. What a wonderful miracle and blessing. TWO wonderful miracles and blessings!

tearese said...

I'm happy for you too, what a great story! My sister is Kiera, and she has been reading and telling me about your blog. Congratulations!

Kim said...

OH MY HECKAROO! TWO...? TWO?!!!! TWO!!!! YAY...you guys this news is SPECTACULAR...wonderful, exciting...marvelous. So excited for you to experience these miracles. WOW.

arianne said...

i found your blog on Carly and R house and had to take a peek! I have no clue who you are but CONGRATS on your pregnancy and TWINS that is SO EXCITING!!! It doesn't matter where our children come from they are all miracles!!

that is also great that you and your hubby share birthdays! how fun is that? Happy 30th.