Lucy - four months

Last Saturday Lucy turned four months old. Today I took her in for her four month check-up. She is getting so big and I guessed that she'd probably weigh about 15 pounds. I think the nurse's eyes were as big as mine when the scale told us she was SEVENTEEN pounds (plus FIVE ounces)! In addition, she's 27 inches tall. I came home and warned her brothers. At the same age, Hugh weighed 16 pounds 4 ounces and Ben was 14 pounds 12 ounces.

Our sweet Lucy Jane is just oozing with cuteness and calm. She brings such a different dynamic to our home. She is the calm amid the chaos; the soft amid the rough. The boys can be bouncing off the walls, but as soon as they approach Lucy they gather all their wild energy and with the most amazing restraint and control, they softly kiss her on the head. I have loved watching such a sweet side to them emerge when she is around, and I'm looking forward to watching how their love for her will continue to develop as they grow up together.

Lucy is such an easy baby, so sweet and so happy. She hasn't quite returned to her (really) long stretches of sleeping at night, but I'm really not complaining at all with what usually ends up as a couple of 5-6 hour stretches. Plus, when she wakes up in the middle of the night fussing and hungry, as soon as she sees my head appear over the side of the crib, she kicks her legs, spreads out her arms and gives a little squeal. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to wake up to that, even if it is at 2am?!

Before Lucy was born I was really preoccupied with thoughts about how she would or wouldn't compare to our twins. Would she look like them? Would she remind me too much of them? Would holding her make me happy or sad? Would life feel more complete with her or would her presence just remind me of the two that were missing?

It was a battle of opposing emotions and I had no idea how to prepare myself for so many questions that were unknowable beforehand. Lucy arrived and took her proper place in our family, not replacing anyone, but filling a new void that I wasn't even aware was there until she filled it with her light and her love. She has brought so much happiness into our family and so much healing into my heart. I do find myself thinking of the twins more often, but more in terms of anticipating the relationships that will come later when we're all reunited again.

For now, I'm loving every waking moment I have with my baby girl. She and I are pretty much inseparable and I really don't mind her need to be near me at all times. I love the nearness of her and feel so grateful for the light she has brought into my life.