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Monday, June 15, 2009

This is my Father's World

* from our most recent trip to the Redwoods, June 8th.

My heart has felt burdened lately. I'm sure mostly because of the memories that are haunting me from a year ago, but it doesn't help that there are other things weighing on me. I wonder if my heart will ever know life without this feeling of grief following me everywhere. Does it ever really go away?

It followed me to church yesterday. I had already had an emotional morning. One of those where I had to keep re-applying my make-up because I couldn't keep the tears from coming. I hate it when that happens. I had to resort to the embarrassing task of firmly scolding myself in the mirror, "stop it! no more crying!" (And, it's even more embarrassing that that actually worked.)

When I arrived at church, I found my pew on the far right-hand side where I get my best view of Marc, as he sits up on the stand. (I love watching him when I get bored of the speakers... and always wonder what the whispers are that go on between him and our bishop. I'm sure it's much less interesting than it appears.)

I sat and closed my eyes as the organist played her prelude music. She is very talented and plays so beautifully. There is one hymn she always plays that I'm not familiar with, but there is something about it that carries extra comfort to my heart. Yesterday that was my gift. As I sat there with my heavy heart, the music wrapped its comfort around me. I thanked her later for playing that particular hymn in her prelude, but I wonder if she realizes it was at the top of my list of my "I thank thees" last night as I knelt in prayer before bed. 

In our brief exchange, she told me the name of the hymn. As she quoted me the words of the first verse, tears filled her eyes and I could see that the song meant something more to her, too. So, yesterday I spent some time searching for the hymn online and found six verses of beautiful words, which brought me to tears as I read them. I was surprised to also find a video of an organist playing it in the Conference Center. I'm still very partial to the way My Organist plays it, but the hymn is so beautiful I have to share.

This is my Father's World

This is my Father’s world, and to my listening ears
All nature sings, and round me rings the music of the spheres.
This is my Father’s world: I rest me in the thought
Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
His hand the wonders wrought.

This is my Father’s world, the birds their carols raise,
The morning light, the lily white, declare their Maker’s praise.
This is my Father’s world: He shines in all that’s fair;
In the rustling grass I hear Him pass;
He speaks to me everywhere.

This is my Father’s world. O let me ne’er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father’s world: the battle is not done:
Jesus Who died shall be satisfied,
And earth and Heav’n be one.

This is my Father’s world, dreaming, I see His face.
I open my eyes, and in glad surprise cry, “The Lord is in this place.”
This is my Father’s world, from the shining courts above,
The Beloved One, His Only Son,
Came—a pledge of deathless love.

This is my Father’s world, should my heart be ever sad?
The lord is King—let the heavens ring. God reigns—let the earth be glad.
This is my Father’s world. Now closer to Heaven bound,
For dear to God is the earth Christ trod.
No place but is holy ground.

This is my Father’s world. I walk a desert lone.
In a bush ablaze to my wondering gaze God makes His glory known.
This is my Father’s world, a wanderer I may roam
Whate’er my lot, it matters not,
My heart is still at home.

Words: Malt­bie D. Bab­cock, 1901, alt. While a pas­tor in Lock­port, New York, Bab­cock liked to hike in an ar­ea called “the es­carp­ment,” an an­cient up­thrust ledge near Lock­port. It has a mar­vel­ous view of farms, or­chards, and Lake On­tar­io, about 15 miles dis­tant. It is said those walks in the woods in­spired these lyr­ics. The ti­tle re­calls an ex­press­ion Bab­cock used when start­ing a walk: “I’m go­ing out to see my Fa­ther’s world.”

*hymn verses and text came from this site.


Becky Rose said...

Thank you for sharing this Megan.

Amy said...

Digi-hugs from Amy. I think of you often, Megan, and love ya lots from afar! Thank you for your post, you touch my heart. You have so many blessings coming, sister. Hold strong. Heavenly father hears you - but even more - LOVES YOU.

Psh. But you knew that.

You are an amazing woman and I am so privileged to at least know who you are. You're a beautiful soul and you touch so many, changing them for the better. Your role in my life, though tiny, is very meaningful. You are a blessing to me.


Kimberli said...

Hi Megan. I'm not sure if you remember me, but I am John Larsen's cousin (your roommate for a summer at BYU). I found your blog link through Brooke's and have been reading for about an hour. What a touching thing to read about your babies. My heart aches for you. I can sympathize with the pains of infertility... I am so sorry you have to deal with those pains, plus the pain of death. Yet, your faith remains strong. You are truly an inspiration. I'll have to keep checking back on you to see how things are going.

A quick update on our lives (I was newly engaged during our roommate season... seems like forever ago).... Life has taken us to Omaha, NE and now San Antonio, TX. Thanks to the Lord and many fertility procedures/drugs, we were blessed with a daughter (who is almost 4). We adopted a little girl one year ago and then found out we were expecting a little boy.

I feel like I am "spying" on your life... but I checked out your adoption profile as well. We have such a tender spot in our hearts for adoption and I couldn't help myself. I wasn't sure if you decided to pursue that again, but whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. Your husband is one lucky guy to have such a patient, soft-voiced, wife (who also cooks great lasagna!) I also loved your contagious smile.

Take care (and sorry for the long comment),
Kimberli (Cole) Tripp

Becky Rose said...

Megan, I've become a reader of Mama's boys and have noticed that she hasn't posted anything for a month! I'm worried. Do you know anything? Has she lost the baby?

Hope your well! Becky