Living and loving my life!

Life is busy around here. My free time lately has been dedicated to things that I love doing. And, I feel so grateful to be able to do so many things that I love.

First, of course, is time spent with my babies. I guess some might argue that time spent with them is not my free time, but I'm going to call it that anyway. On most days and in most moments they are just so much fun. Lucy is growing like crazy! As of today, she is TEN months old. A month ago she weighed 21 pounds 9 ounces and measured at 29.5 inches long - in the 90-something percentiles for both. She has learned how to wave and does it all the time. She's refusing the pureed baby food she used to devour and now insists on eating off my plate. She has figured out how to ride her big brothers' motorized quad, even daring to stand while it's in motion (redefining for us what it means to be fearless). She can stand up with ease and is so steady that we're pretty sure she'll be walking before she turns one. I keep wondering where my baby went... they grow so fast!

It seems that the older the boys get, the more time they spend playing nicely together. They are best friends and do pretty much everything together. I'm so glad they have each other and get along so well, for the most part. They are talking like crazy and come up with the most hilarious things. The other day I captured a moment of the two boys in the backyard, sitting on the steps with big sticks talking about how they were fishing, reeling in their catches. Pretend play at its very best!

They're into pretending to fish because we've been doing a lot of real fishing the last couple of months. My mom bought my dad and I fishing licenses, so we've have a set day of the week when we go fishing together. The second time we went out Hugh happened to wake up while I was getting ready, so I asked him if he wanted to go with us. He was so excited! When we came home later, Ben wanted to go so bad that we all went back out for a little longer. It's a little crazy to have the two boys out with us, worrying about them falling in the water or doing something crazy like getting a fish hook stuck in a finger (like what happened to me when I was a little girl out fishing with my dad and brothers). So, we have rules that we try to get them to follow. Some rules are sinking in better than other... Last week as we were driving out to our fishing spot, I was going over the rules with the boys and when I asked them what the first rule was, Ben said, "Eat doughnuts." Pretty smart kid, I'd say!

Most other mornings are spent running or biking, training for my half marathon next month. So far it's going great! Tomorrow is a 9-miler and I'm feeling pretty good about where I'm at.

Most evenings are spent relaxing on the couch with Marc, either watching a favorite show on TV (Survivor or Amazing Race, anyone?!) or helping Marc with some website projects. He's taught me how to do some basic things and I find it fun to help him do what he loves to do. Now, if we can just get my new blog design up and running... hopefully soon!

Hope for a Better World

Back when I was 16 or so, I remember sitting in a lesson at church that brought me to tears. I don't remember the topic of the lesson, but I remember feeling overwhelmed with how bad the world was at the time (around 1994-ish) and how much worse it was bound to become by the time I was a mother. And, I decided right then and there that it just wouldn't be worth it to bring kids into such a terrible place. (Yeah, I admit I might have been a bit on the emotional/dramatic side as a teenager. I was only slightly offended when an adult leader once told me I needed to lighten up. Actually, now that I think of it, I heard that more than once.)

It was while Marc and I were cleaning up from our lunch together on Monday afternoon that Marc saw the news about the explosions in Boston. As we saw and heard more details coming in, we immediately understood the gravity of the situation and I felt my heart sink and my head spin. Sadness and confusion. Ben was at preschool and Hugh was hanging out with my parents, so I had a quiet house. I sat and rocked my baby Lucy. I held her close and then laid her gently down for her afternoon nap. She was still sleeping when I had to pick Ben up from school, so I had some more quiet time in the car. (Luckily, Marc was able to work close by to be near her when she awoke.)

It was in the car that the tears came flowing. The sadness and confusion had built up and I needed some release. I consider myself a runner. I've run two marathons, I'm signed up to run a half marathon coming up soon, and I felt like this tragedy had affected and hurt my family. Not just my running family, but people that are part of this great big human family.

I was actually a little surprised myself by how easy the tears came and I paused long enough to consider myself a little crazy for being so emotional about it all. I didn't know anyone that was there (except that later on, I realized that I did - my friend Amy). But, this is exactly the kind of stuff that my teenage fears warned me of.

Stuff like this just feels extra painful when you consider that there are those among us who have their hearts and minds in such a skewed place to think it okay to inflict such awful pain and terror on their own family, albeit "just" human family.

For completely unrelated reasons, not too long ago I found myself drawn to looking more closely at moments in the scriptures when the Lord weeps. There were three that affected me in powerful ways for different reasons. There's the story of Lazarus, which is where we find the oft-quoted shortest verse in scripture: Jesus wept. There's the story of the Resurrected Christ blessing the children among the Nephites and weeping because His joy was full. And, then the story of the Lord showing Enoch in vision the world we live in today. That's the story that has been on my mind this week.

In all of my sadness and confusion, trying to make sense of the senseless, there is one truth that keeps resonating through my veins. God has wept at the hatred and the evil among His own children and surely He is weeping still. And, if He is weeping (which I believe He is), then that means He still cares, He is still aware, and He still has ultimate power to heal and to make things right again. And, as long as there is a God in heaven like that, then there is reason for me to have hope in a better world, even if that is a world to come.

Here I am, nearly 20 years later, raising three children in this much scarier world. I'm conquering my own fears. I'm doing everything I can to keep my kids safe and teach them to be kind. And, teaching them the Source of my hope, because maybe there will come a day when they are sitting in a church class a few years down the road and will be overcome with how scary the world is they live in... and maybe, just maybe, they won't be afraid.

Growing Ben

So, Ben turned three almost three months ago, but we just barely were able to get in for his three-year physical. At his appointment a year ago he didn't handle the whole doctor's office too well. He did some kicking and screaming and made the whole process really difficult. At the time I was five months pregnant and had a really hard time keeping him from hurting himself or anyone else in his struggle.

So, with that memory still fresh in my mind I was a little hesitant in anticipation of this appointment. Thankfully I was able to leave the younger two with Grandma and Grandpa, which gave me some really nice one-on-one time with my little boy who is growing up so fast. If nothing else I realized how much I need to find more time to spend with each of my kids alone.

Right away Ben was weighed and measured. He is 34.5 pounds and 38.5 inches tall - putting him in the 75th percentile for both.

I found the doctor's exchange with Ben to be pretty funny. She started asking him yes or no questions that all had an ideal response of "yes" and Ben answered them all perfectly on cue. "Do you like fruits and vegetables? Do you eat bananas? Apples? Carrots? Broccoli? How 'bout brushing your teeth - do you brush your teeth before bed? Do you eat meat? Chicken? Do you drink milk? Water?" Anyway... you get the idea. There were some questions where his answer should have been "no", but I wasn't going to correct him. It was just too cute!

Ben continues to be far above average when it comes to gross and fine motor skills - the kid is so coordinated, running around in his rain boots that are two sizes too big with effortless ease. We're so happy with the great progress he's been making with his language skills. That has been our biggest concern with his development and I'd say that at this point it's no longer a concern. I mean, it's still something we're actively working on, but he has made such great improvements that we're not as worried about it.

Right now we're mostly concerned with his new-found love of spitting when he's mad and wanting to break things (which reminds me of a good story I should tell about our first broken window a couple of weeks ago.) But, besides the normal three-year old behavior of testing the limits and expressing his independence, he is one fantastic little boy! I love how he likes to hold my hand and when he sits next to me, he'll gently rub my back or my leg to show his affection. He is so gentle with Lucy and continues to work on being gentle with Hugh, too. Ben is so sweet, so adventurous, so creative, and such a joy!

Six weeks - where did they go?

I can't believe it has been so long since I've posted. Most of February was filled with fun activities - the first warm days of early Spring that got us outside for picnics, hikes, bike rides and running.

Lucy LOVED her first time on the swings!

Picnic at the lake and feeding the ducks.

It's so nice to live in an area that gets warm enough in February to take our lunch out back for a picnic just because it feels wrong to not be outside enjoying the warm sunshine.

Painting day!

The Ding Dong cake I made for Marc for Valentine's Day was so delicious!! (I altered the recipe a little just because I have a hard time following recipes.)

Then February went out with a bang. We all got a terrible case of the flu, all except Ben. It started with Hugh, then went to Marc and Lucy, then me, then back to Lucy. It was AWFUL. From start to finish, it lasted a little over a week, but then it seemed to take another week to recover from the sleep deprivation and the endless loads of laundry.

In the middle of all of the sickness, Lucy was teething, poor baby! But, I have to say I've never seen a happier sick baby. She'd throw up and then be giggling and want to play. She is such a sweetie.

For a couple of weeks I just felt so exhausted ALL THE TIME. I'm finally feeling semi-human again and that appears to be necessary for me to update my blog. But, I have to admit that the down time we were sort of forced to have was actually kind of nice. We had a couple of days where we all stayed in pajamas all day long and played and watched our new favorite movie - The Lorax. Sometimes it's nice to be forced to slow down.

Right in the middle of our bout with the flu I just had to vacuum. I needed to feel productive, I guess. So, here are my kids on one of our PJ days, cheering for me as I vacuum. It was so cute!

In other news, I'm starting the arduous task of potty training both boys. It is not easy!! I have one that is super willing but will sit on the potty chair for hours and barely get a drop out, and the other who can pee on demand but puts up a fight every single time. My assessment of that is that one is physically ready but not emotionally, while the other is emotionally ready but not physically. Or something like that. So, I'm not officially "Potty Training", but just helping them practice and get more comfortable with the idea. Which means I get them to sit on the potty chair at least once a day and I talk about it ALL THE TIME. One of these days I won't have three in diapers... and hopefully SOON!

And, just because this post hasn't already been long enough, and not nearly enough photos to satisfy the average reader, here are just a few more!

And, with that, I think we're all caught up! I would promise to get better and not ever do this again, but I know better than to make such a promise.

Sleepless and Silent Night

Poor little Lucy hasn't been sleeping well lately - at nap times or during the night. She's been waking up a couple of times after I put her down at night and before I go to bed myself, and just cries with a sadness that makes my heart break. Then, she's been waking up 3-4 times a night. I think part of it might be her first tooth that's about to poke through. Part of it might be her little body getting used to eating solids. Part of it might be becoming more aware of being left alone when she just wants to be near someone. Part of it might be all the big milestones she's hitting all at once. Whatever it is, I hope we can comfort her through it and help her get back to sleeping better again.

Marc just went in to take a turn comforting her, while I get things wrapped up for the night and can go in to take over. I could hear his soft humming to Silent Night. I love that my baby girl (and our cute boys, too) has such a good Daddy.

Lucy at six months

Lucy got to spend her six month birthday taking a little plane ride with me to go visit my sweet friend Christy. The plane ride there she was a champ! She smiled at everyone that would notice her, she nursed through take-off and landing and slept peacefully in between it all.

Then, for three days she got snuggled on by some of our favorite people in the world and enjoyed every minute of it! Luckily there was almost enough craziness in their home as their is in ours, so Lucy felt right at home among their three turkeys.

Some other firsts for Lucy - going to the movie theater (we were all dying to see Les Miserables and Lucy did awesome, sleeping through almost the entire movie! It was such a good movie, too!!), going out to eat, and chilling out at the salon while we got pedicures (no pedicure for Lucy, though... we'll wait a few more years for that!). She is such an easy-going, happy baby!

The plane ride home wasn't as smooth, but it wasn't terrible either. Lucy was extra tired and wasn't too much in the mood to be stuck anywhere for any length of time.

A couple of days after getting back home Lucy had her six month check-up, revealing more of the same healthy growth stats as we've seen from the beginning.

Current weight: 19 pounds 5 ounces (91st percentile)

Current length: 28 1/2 inches long (99th percentile)

She is growing up so fast. Rolling over to get across the room and back, practicing her push-ups, and starting to show some initial signs that crawling might be close around the corner. She has been sick the last little bit, so her sleeping habits have gotten terrible, but I'm not without hope that she'll bounce back into sleeping through the night again really soon. She is a sweetheart, loving us with her passionate face grabbing and pulling us closer for some slobbery kisses. We love her and love the soft and gentle side she brings out of the boys, too! They just adore her!

New Year, New Home

At the beginning of December we found out that our landlord sold the house we were living in and we were given 60 days to find a new home. It was a little stressful not knowing how it was all going to turn out, not knowing where and how and when we'd find a new home, but deep down Marc and I both felt a calm reassurance that everything would come together perfectly. And, it did... more perfectly than I could have imagined!

We looked at a couple of houses on the market and found a couple we were interested in. At closer look, we didn't like the location or the landscaping at one place. The other house was perfect for us, but we found out the owners weren't wanting to rent to pet owners. So our two cats eliminated us. At first, anyway.

When I felt like we were stuck without any further options and was starting to panic just a little, I posted on facebook to see if any of my local friends knew of any other homes we hadn't yet found. Turns out that a good friend of mine (since sixth grade) contacted me about her parents renting the home she grew up in... which just happened to be the very same home we had already inquired about and thought would be perfect for us. When I first called about it, I had no idea that her parents were still connected to it, since I knew they lived on the other side of town. So, after talking with my friend's dad on the phone and explaining our pet situation, they decided to make an exception on their no-pet-policy, just for us!

Unfortunately for them, their house had been left in pretty bad shape from the previous renters, so fortunately for us we moved into a home with brand new everything, a big kitchen, four bedrooms and a separate office space in the very spacious backyard for Marc. It is such a lovely home in a nice, quiet neighborhood.

(Ben playing in our backyard, in front of Daddy's office)

The day we moved in - New Year's Eve - our next door neighbors (who we hadn't even officially met yet) came over with a large pizza, plates, napkins, a plate of cookies, and a dispenser of soap. I'm not sure you can get a nicer, warmer welcome than that!

After a long day of moving in, and after getting the kids settled in bed, I spent a couple of hours cleaning at our old place (with the help of my dad - thank goodness!). It wasn't exactly the way I wanted to spend New Year's Eve, but I did manage to make it back home shortly after ten. Marc and I kicked our feet up and opened up a bottle of Martinelli's, taking turns drinking directly from the bottle. Not having glasses unpacked made the moment that much more memorable.

That first night in our new home, hearing the fireworks going off in the distance as I laid in bed, I couldn't help but feel like celebrating the chance to be in a new home at the beginning of a new year. Right away there was a comforting feeling that enveloped me about our new surroundings, which was quite the opposite feeling I'd had in our last home. There, I spent the first two months feeling regretful about our choice and had an unsettled feeling about our situation.

Here, it has felt like home from the first moment. If walls could talk, I love imagining the happy experiences the walls of this home would reveal from the years my good friend spent here with her happy family. And, I love adding our own happy memories to the good feeling that already exists. I get the feeling it's going to be a happy year ahead. And, I'm so grateful for how perfectly everything worked together for us.

Three Years!

The week after Christmas was one of the craziest we've had and it's taken me a few weeks to bounce back. I've got quite a lot to catch up on. A birthday, a house of sickies, a big move, and a new house to get settled into. All of that happened in less than a week. Then, there was the fun of unpacking, shopping for a washer and dryer, taking a much-needed trip to see a dear friend (just Lucy and me), and then another week of sickies. To say I'm tired is an understatement.

As much as I dislike doing big recaps, the next few posts will be exactly that, starting with Ben's big day. So, here we go...

Ben is THREE! The morning started with Marc taking Ben to the store to buy birthday doughnuts and balloons. He was so excited! Unfortunately around mid-morning, and just before his birth family arrived for his party, he started to act lethargic and clearly didn't feel well. He ended up cuddling up in Marc's lap during most of the party, eating a few bites of pizza here and there. He really perked up, though, when it was cake time.

About a month before his birthday I showed him pictures of a dozen or so different cake ideas and let him pick the one he wanted. Right away he picked the Dump Truck. I was convinced that in his usual toddler fashion he'd change his mind a dozen times before his birthday, so I asked him about every other day. But, he remained consistent in his response every single time.

The day before his birthday he hurt his wrist somehow - we think he must have sprained or twisted it. After looking at it really closely and determining that it wasn't a serious injury, we wrapped it up in an ace bandage, which he thought was pretty cool... but it was still so sad to watch the way he just let his arm hang limply to his side.

We were so happy to have Tracey join us for Ben's birthday again this year. She came with her mom and her daughter, Taylor. This was the first time for Ben to meet Taylor (besides just after he was born) and it was fun to watch them play and interact together. We also had my brother, Jamie, and his family in town and they were with us for Ben's party, too.

Soon after the party was over and everyone had left, we all crashed and slept the afternoon away. Ben ended up throwing up later in the day, reminiscent of how his first birthday ended... hopefully this won't become tradition. Poor kid.

Overall, it was a fun day and Ben seemed to enjoy having all the attention on him. He is such a sweet boy - so creative, so adventurous, so hilarious, so tender to the core. We love him more and more and more. It's impossible to even consider what our family would be like or what the dynamics would look like without him.