I love Lucy!

Lucy is just over a year now, but my golly this little girl of ours is going to keep us on our toes. She just turned 16 months on Sunday. I took her in for her doctor appointment this morning. She refused to sit down on one of those baby scales for her weigh-in, so she stood there (naked) making all the nurses in sight laugh out loud. She weighs 26 pounds 2 ounces, and is now 32.5 inches tall, continuing her trend of being in the 90-something-th percentile in both. Within minutes, the doctor who was seeing her for first time, pegged her as the ham that she is, as she was running around the tiny office, doing her funny dance and laughing! I love her colorful personality!

She is a climber - her favorite place is the kitchen table, which she ends up on at least a dozen times a day, standing and smirking the entire time. Tonight she shook her head when we told her she needed to get down.

She is an eater - often eating as much as the boys and has already pretty much perfected the use of utensils.

She is a hider. She'll disappear and I'll look around for her and not find her anywhere. Call her name. No response. I've found her in our closet, behind the curtains, in the bathroom with the door closed, and on Sunday she actually went into my bedroom and locked the door behind her. How is that even possible?? Good thing the boys had already tested out locking themselves out of their bedroom because I knew exactly how to get the door opened to save my sly and silly girl. No panic at all, except trying to figure out how she learns how to do stuff like this.

She is a reader. She'll come snuggle up next to you with a book and pushes it at you until you push aside any and all distractions and read to her.

She's learning to talk. "Mom" is for Mom (of course!), but it's also for Dad, more, milk, and pretty much anything that she wants and gets excited about. Ball is another one that is for ball and pretty much any other toy. She meows, woofs, oinks, and growls. She says cracker, but it comes out in a bit of a growl. She says "down" for down, but also for up... funny girl! She can sign "more" and "please". And, water... that one is the best. Do you know what she says for water? She does the swallowing sound in her throat! Brilliant!!

She is an equal with her brothers. The boys were playing in their closet today with their flashlights and Lucy was sitting in there with them with a book in hand, just chilling with the boys. They don't get away with anything. They take a toy or food or something she has and she goes for blood. Luckily she hasn't drawn blood yet, but tears and pleas for mercy, YES! I'm always amazed at how scared they can be of her.

Lucy is as sweet and cuddly as you'd expect from a little girl, but she is feisty and strong-willed like you wouldn't imagine. She is so much fun! We were dancing around to songs from the Nutcracker this morning and she runs in circles, shooting her arms straight up into the air about every five seconds while still in motion. It's super cute, even if it is a little Richard Simmons-ish. But, stuff like that, where did she learn that from? I think there is so much innate about the personalities we're born with and the inner songs that move our lives. I love, love, love learning more about those innate attributes of my three little ones!

Sleepless and Silent Night

Poor little Lucy hasn't been sleeping well lately - at nap times or during the night. She's been waking up a couple of times after I put her down at night and before I go to bed myself, and just cries with a sadness that makes my heart break. Then, she's been waking up 3-4 times a night. I think part of it might be her first tooth that's about to poke through. Part of it might be her little body getting used to eating solids. Part of it might be becoming more aware of being left alone when she just wants to be near someone. Part of it might be all the big milestones she's hitting all at once. Whatever it is, I hope we can comfort her through it and help her get back to sleeping better again.

Marc just went in to take a turn comforting her, while I get things wrapped up for the night and can go in to take over. I could hear his soft humming to Silent Night. I love that my baby girl (and our cute boys, too) has such a good Daddy.

Lucy at six months

Lucy got to spend her six month birthday taking a little plane ride with me to go visit my sweet friend Christy. The plane ride there she was a champ! She smiled at everyone that would notice her, she nursed through take-off and landing and slept peacefully in between it all.

Then, for three days she got snuggled on by some of our favorite people in the world and enjoyed every minute of it! Luckily there was almost enough craziness in their home as their is in ours, so Lucy felt right at home among their three turkeys.

Some other firsts for Lucy - going to the movie theater (we were all dying to see Les Miserables and Lucy did awesome, sleeping through almost the entire movie! It was such a good movie, too!!), going out to eat, and chilling out at the salon while we got pedicures (no pedicure for Lucy, though... we'll wait a few more years for that!). She is such an easy-going, happy baby!

The plane ride home wasn't as smooth, but it wasn't terrible either. Lucy was extra tired and wasn't too much in the mood to be stuck anywhere for any length of time.

A couple of days after getting back home Lucy had her six month check-up, revealing more of the same healthy growth stats as we've seen from the beginning.

Current weight: 19 pounds 5 ounces (91st percentile)

Current length: 28 1/2 inches long (99th percentile)

She is growing up so fast. Rolling over to get across the room and back, practicing her push-ups, and starting to show some initial signs that crawling might be close around the corner. She has been sick the last little bit, so her sleeping habits have gotten terrible, but I'm not without hope that she'll bounce back into sleeping through the night again really soon. She is a sweetheart, loving us with her passionate face grabbing and pulling us closer for some slobbery kisses. We love her and love the soft and gentle side she brings out of the boys, too! They just adore her!

Christmas Reflections

It has been a wonderful month with my little family, leading up to today's celebration. I've loved watching Ben and Hugh start to catch on to the whole idea of Santa Claus, but even more starting to understand the real reason is to celebrate Jesus' birth. They seem very familiar now with the role of the three wise men, thanks mostly to Marc's role and costume at our Church's Christmas dinner.

I've especially loved the quiet moments with my little Lucy. I love her so much, to the point that my heart aches with love. (Not that I don't love my boys just as much... it's just a different love.) I don't know quite how to describe it. I think there is some aspect of feeling extra protective of my baby girl, as well as some part of me that is reminded of how much I love my other two girls.

But, there is something extra magical about celebrating Christmas with a baby around. It seems so much easier to imagine being Mary, holding her precious newborn, anticipating what blessings and surprises the future will hold for that little one. I can't imagine what emotions she must have experienced knowing her perfect, tiny babe would be the most important person ever to come into the world.

The other day at church, my heart was particularly tender and as we closed the final meeting with Away in a Manger, the words overwhelmed me to tears. Since I was the one leading the music, I tried my best to hide it, but at one point I was too choked up to even get the words out.

We had just had a lesson, based on this talk by Elder Holland (my favorite talk from this past General Conference). I was feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude for the Savior's love in my life, for His willingness to fulfill His mission, His willingness to suffer for my pains and sins, His willingness to die so that we can live again and find purpose in living when life falls apart. He has been with me through life's hardest moments, I've felt it and know it without a doubt. He has been my source of strength and hope.

Lucy had fallen asleep in my arms about half way through the lesson. The weight and warmth of her little body cuddled up against mine filled my heart with so much love. Love for her and love for the little Baby born so long ago, making it possible for my little family to be eternal. But, not just my family. Every family. Those grieving families in Connecticut. I'm still thinking of and praying for them.

So, after that particularly touching lesson and with my little Lucy still softly sleeping on my shoulder, as we sang the final verse of that Christmas hymn, there was no way to keep the tears from coming.

Be near me, Lord Jesus; I ask thee to stay Close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, And fit us for heaven, to live with thee there.

This is precisely why it's the most wonderful time of the year. Music and words that make us pause and reflect and recommit and prioritize. The challenge now, like with every year, is to remember those reflections and promises to try to be just a little bit better and remember the love and role of our Savior just a little bit more.

Lucy - four months

Last Saturday Lucy turned four months old. Today I took her in for her four month check-up. She is getting so big and I guessed that she'd probably weigh about 15 pounds. I think the nurse's eyes were as big as mine when the scale told us she was SEVENTEEN pounds (plus FIVE ounces)! In addition, she's 27 inches tall. I came home and warned her brothers. At the same age, Hugh weighed 16 pounds 4 ounces and Ben was 14 pounds 12 ounces.

Our sweet Lucy Jane is just oozing with cuteness and calm. She brings such a different dynamic to our home. She is the calm amid the chaos; the soft amid the rough. The boys can be bouncing off the walls, but as soon as they approach Lucy they gather all their wild energy and with the most amazing restraint and control, they softly kiss her on the head. I have loved watching such a sweet side to them emerge when she is around, and I'm looking forward to watching how their love for her will continue to develop as they grow up together.

Lucy is such an easy baby, so sweet and so happy. She hasn't quite returned to her (really) long stretches of sleeping at night, but I'm really not complaining at all with what usually ends up as a couple of 5-6 hour stretches. Plus, when she wakes up in the middle of the night fussing and hungry, as soon as she sees my head appear over the side of the crib, she kicks her legs, spreads out her arms and gives a little squeal. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to wake up to that, even if it is at 2am?!

Before Lucy was born I was really preoccupied with thoughts about how she would or wouldn't compare to our twins. Would she look like them? Would she remind me too much of them? Would holding her make me happy or sad? Would life feel more complete with her or would her presence just remind me of the two that were missing?

It was a battle of opposing emotions and I had no idea how to prepare myself for so many questions that were unknowable beforehand. Lucy arrived and took her proper place in our family, not replacing anyone, but filling a new void that I wasn't even aware was there until she filled it with her light and her love. She has brought so much happiness into our family and so much healing into my heart. I do find myself thinking of the twins more often, but more in terms of anticipating the relationships that will come later when we're all reunited again.

For now, I'm loving every waking moment I have with my baby girl. She and I are pretty much inseparable and I really don't mind her need to be near me at all times. I love the nearness of her and feel so grateful for the light she has brought into my life.

Lucy is two months!

Where has the time gone?! It's so crazy how much babies change in the first weeks/months of life! I look at Lucy lately and am in awe at how fast she's growing and how much she's changing.

Lucy turned two months this week and she's kept up a good pace with her growth. She weighs 13.5 pounds and is 25.5 inches long... above the 95th percentile for both.

She is already more interested in sitting up and seeing what's going on around her and will make it known if you try to lay her down.

She smiles all the time and is a huge distraction at church because of it. One woman told me this last Sunday that she's never seen a happier baby. She is a sweetheart, for sure!

Lucy LOVES bath time! As soon as she hears the water filling the tub, she settle right down. And as soon as she gets in the water she kicks and coos and is happy to stay in there for at least 20 minutes.

Lucy has already had quite a few nights of sleeping 9-10 hour stretches. It's amazing to me! Ben and Hugh didn't sleep like that until much later. Her sleep habits haven't been quite as good since our last little trip, but I'm not worried about it. Even her worst nights are not that bad at all.

The boys just adore her and worry over her, just like big brothers should!

Lucy is such a sweet baby! We are so super lucky to have her in our family. She adds a happiness to our lives that I can't imagine going without.

Lucy - one month

I really need to put some more photos of Lucy up, but I just haven't gotten around to getting them off the camera. I'll try to do that soon, but in the meantime she had her one month appointment the other day and I figured I'd at least update her current stats.

Lucy is tipping the scales at 11 pounds 15 ounces! (That means she's gained two and a half pounds since birth.)

She has already grown three inches - is now 24 inches long!

And, her head is measuring at 15.4 inches.

The nurse was so shocked at her length and had to re-measure her to make sure she got it right. She's in the 95th to 98th percentile for both height and weight - we clearly have a very healthy baby girl! She is already smiling lots and just starting to make cooing sounds. She typically wakes twice during the night - usually sometime around 1am and 5am. She hates laying down flat if she's awake and prefers a sitting up position to see what's going on. Both boys are growing more and more fond of her and constantly want to hold her and kiss her. Lucy has added so much happiness to our life in her first month. We are thrilled to have her in our family!

Baby blessing

While we were in Utah, we decided it would be a good time for Lucy to be blessed. My sister, Mandi, also blessed her nearly-three-month old Ezra on the same day. Usually baby blessings are done in church, but since we were attending a congregation that wasn't our own we made arrangements to have Lucy blessed at my sister's house after church.

As I dressed Lucy in her white blessing dress (with a pink slip underneath), I thought of my Grandma Hedy. She made the dress over 40 years ago for my older sister on her blessing day. That same dress was then worn by me and Mandi, and then again by my sisters' daughters - McKayla, Audrey, and Talea. And, now I was able to dress my baby girl in the same blessing dress.

As I handed Lucy to Marc and he was joined in a loving circle of other important men in her life (her Daddy, Grandpa, Uncles - Jamie, John, Matt, Danny, Dwight, Adam, and cousin Colton), I loved the feeling of protection and strength that came with that visual. I felt a calm reassurance that my little Lucy will be just fine with such good men in her life protecting her and loving her.

I won't recount here the specifics of her baby blessing, but there were some beautiful promises made and I got a tiny glimpse into the special soul of my baby girl. I feel so blessed and lucky to be the mother to this little spirit.

Patience

It's hard to believe two weeks have passed since Lucy was born (well, as of tomorrow afternoon, anyway). In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday and in other ways it feels like she's been here much longer. I'm still confined to bed, mainly for the continued healing of the hematoma. Some say it's just a fancy way of saying "bruise", but the pain at times from this fancy bruise has been worse than labor itself. On some days it feels like it's getting better, but then other days I feel like it might just be the death of me. Every couple of days, it seems, I have a little breakdown - just feeling tired and frustrated at not being able to do anything.

The one (and possibly only) upside to having these injuries that are keeping me in bed is that I get to love on my sweet Lucy 24/7. She and I hang out in my bedroom all day, napping and nursing, and staring into each others' eyes during her waking hours. Those eyes, by the way, are looking like they might just turn out to be from me, which feels only fair since Hugh got his Daddy's.

Lucy is the easiest baby. She sleeps a ton - perhaps more than Ben and Hugh put together at her age. She's super mellow, except when her feeding has been delayed by more than five minutes. Oh, and if I dare to even have a taste of anything dairy, then she screams and squirms and isn't happy at all. So, just like with Hugh, I'll be cutting out all dairy for the next few months. It'll totally be worth it to keep her happy.

I was thinking back today to last November when I first found out I was pregnant. I had pretty mixed emotions, but I feel so ashamed to admit that there was any part of me that wasn't grateful and excited. It turns out that there was this big dark hole in my life that I wasn't even aware of that has now been filled with this little light of mine, Lucy. I can't help but look at her and feel completely overcome with love. She is such a beautiful little soul.

Plus, there is something about her presence that makes me feel just a little closer to Elliana and Emmaline. And, that is such a comforting feeling.

So, healing is going slow - much slower than I'd want - but I'm trying to soak up this time with Lucy and enjoy the slower pace in these early days of her life, knowing there will no doubt come a day when I'll wish I had these slow days back. And, having my parents to take care of Ben and Hugh has made it easier on me emotionally to not be there for them as much right now. There's no doubt they love spending time with "Bapa" and "GG".

So, Patience, it turns out is a virtue... and a lesson that seems to come around in different forms much more often than I'd like. I suppose I should make her a friend and let her teach me what she will.

Lucy's Story - final thoughts

As soon as I found out I was expecting a baby girl, I became very nervous about accepting the idea. I had this fear of something bad happening, like with the twins, fate's way of telling me I wasn't meant to have a daughter. In those final moments before Lucy was born, I was just so anxious to know she was safe and healthy and alive.

That last hour of pushing was super intense. I kept getting reassuring feedback from everyone at their different angle telling me that she was coming, that her head was appearing, then that her head was out, and then just one more push to get the shoulders out. Dr. Crabtree, a marathon runner herself, and without knowing I've run marathons, kept making references to running a marathon. "Okay, you're at mile 25... just one more mile left..." Just one more thing to love about her.

And, with the final push, Lucy was placed on my chest. There aren't words to describe the feeling of being able to kiss her head and tell her how much I loved her. We did it. We did it together. A natural birth. A successful VBAC. A nine and a half pound baby. Under the care of the most incredible doctor.

The last couple of times I've seen Dr. Crabtree we've both ended up in tears, unable to express to each other what we both experienced in our different roles that day. I couldn't have done it without her. I also couldn't have done it without Marc and my sister. I was surrounded by the best team of support and love.

Within minutes of being born Lucy pooped all over my belly, and because she still hadn't let out a good cry, a nurse took her over to a bassinet to get her cleaned up and try to suction her lungs a little bit more. When they weighed her, everyone was so shocked at how big she was.

In the meantime, Dr. Crabtree was working on assessing my wounds. Turns out that pushing out a big baby can cause some damage. I ended up with a second degree episiotomy and a hematoma - basically a broken blood vessel that forms into a clot and can get worse over time if it doesn't drain on its own. So, I've been bed-ridden since coming home, only getting up when I absolutely have to (bathroom, shower, to sneak some kisses from my boys, etc...). So far it appears that things are healing on their own, but we'll see how things are at my appointment next week.

I was amazed at how perfectly Lucy came out, considering all my bruising and swelling. From the first moment, her coloring, her head shape, everything about her looked absolutely perfect. And, so far, she is the perfect little baby - sleeping 3-4 hour stretches at night, sleeping lots during the day, and eating like a champ. At her one week appointment this week she was already up to 9 pounds 11 ounces. She's outgrown everything newborn - diapers and clothing. Look at my little chunk of love:

Our little Lucy has added a new light to our lives and we love her so much. The boys come in to my bedroom throughout the day to give us both kisses and are constantly concerned with her having her blanket or her pacifier. They are adjusting so well to having a new baby sister. It's so funny how right away you forget what life was like before she arrived. It feels like she's always been apart of our family. We truly have been so blessed.

Lucy's Story - the arrival

By 6:30am we were finally settled into our birthing suite. Marc had our relaxing music playing in the background, the lights were dimmed, and when a contraction would come I'd reach out for Marc's hand, while focusing all my energy on keeping every muscle in my body relaxed with long, deep breaths.

At one point my nurse, Debbi, came in to check on us and made a comment about how we were the "picture perfect" example of a laboring couple. It gave us a nice feeling of assurance that whatever we were doing was perhaps just what we were supposed to be doing.

Contractions seemed to slow down some and rather than getting up to try to move things along, we just tried to relax as much as possible, knowing we'd need our energy for the final stage of pushing. At around 10:30am it seems like they checked me again and found that I was still at a 7, so that was when we decided I should move around a little and change positions.

We did the slow dance/swaying for a little while, where I braced onto Marc's shoulders and he held tightly to my elbows. Then I tried kneeling on the bed, leaning up against a stack of pillows for support. Then I tried laying on my side, which I found I didn't like too much.

Somewhere in all of that trying of new positions, Dawnette arrived. I was so relieved to have her there. She and Marc made the perfect laboring team for me. Marc offered such steady support and encouraging words, while my sister seemed to know exactly where to massage and would constantly remind me to relax and breathe through the contractions.

It was actually kind of funny how little we saw of our nurse and midwife. I guess they figured I was in such good hands that I didn't need them as much. And, I really was in the best hands.

I think it was sometime around 1pm when things started to feel more intense. I remember Dawnette asking if I felt the urge to push, and not feeling sure if I did or not, so I was making some deep groaning with my breathing until I felt sure of the urge to push. That was one thing I learned from Hugh's birth - don't start pushing before that urge comes.

Then, around 2pm the nurse came in to check me and said I was dilated to a ten and could start pushing.

After my experience of pushing for six hours with Hugh, and having the outcome of that be so traumatic for both of us, I had decided with this birth I'd give myself two hours of pushing and if the baby wasn't out in those two hours then I'd give in and have another c-section. I've always felt a little guilty that perhaps if I wouldn't have pushed for so long with Hugh then maybe I wouldn't have caused him so much stress and maybe we could have avoided the whole meconium aspiration and that hellish week at UCSF.

So, sometime around 2pm we got serious about pushing and it seems like about every 20 minutes my midwife was encouraging a new position. I must have tried every possible position there is. I was hooked up to a continuous monitoring of Lucy's heart rate through all of that, which fortunately showed her to appear very stable and steady with every contraction and every push.

After two hours she had made some progress, but seemed to be stuck. I'd push and they'd get a glimpse of her head and then the contraction would end and her head would disappear again. It all reminded me too much of Hugh's birth experience - that was exactly how it went with him. I remember looking and both Marc and Dawnette and telling them I was afraid she was stuck and I didn't want to her outcome to be the same as Hugh's.

There were moments when the pain was pretty intense, but I was mostly just so exhausted. I was sweating and breathing so hard I could barely catch my breath in between contractions.

When 4pm rolled around, the midwife quietly mentioned we might need to start considering the option of a c-section. At that point I spoke up and said something along the lines of, "Let's just do it. I'm done pushing. I just want her here safe and healthy." She left the room to go find Dr. Crabtree and I continued to push with that uncontrollable urge to push, begging someone to make the Dr. hurry up and get the c-section over with so I could finally have some relief.

By the time Dr. Crabtree entered my room I had long thrown in the towel. I wasn't sure what exactly Marc and Dawnette were thinking at that moment, but I could tell they both knew I was giving it everything I could and were there to support me with whatever the outcome. I was just relieved that neither of their looks made me feel like I had failed.

Dr. Crabtree, in her very gentle and calm way, sat herself down at the foot of my bed and asked if I'd push for the next contraction so that she could get an idea of where Lucy was. I agreed to give her one more push, after which she then said, "I think we can do this. If you can give me a few more good pushes, I think we can get this baby out together." There was something about her confidence in me that made me trust her completely. Suddenly there was a new wave of renewed hope and energy that filled the room.

With Marc on my right side and Dawnette on my left, each supporting me, and with Dr. Crabtree coaching and guiding and directing from her position, sure enough with a few more pushes and less than an hour later, Lucy was laying on my chest.

Lucy's Story - Progressing to labor

For the majority of my prenatal appointments I was seen by one of the five midwives who work under Dr. Crabtree. I did have one other later appointment with Dr. Crabtree where we discussed in greater detail what to expect and how to plan for a successful VBAC. I came with a long list of questions, a little nervous about finding out her answers, but left feeling encouraged and optimistic.

I had my last prenatal appointment scheduled the Thursday before my due date. At that appointment the midwife I met with asked if I wanted her to check to see if I was dilated. Right away it was clear by her struggle that things weren't already happening. She concluded that if I was dilated at all, I was maybe at a one. As I left that appointment, they scheduled two more appointments for the following week - Monday and Friday - with plans in place of what to expect if labor still hadn't started on its own.

I felt pretty discouraged the rest of that day, just feeling ready to be done. Done with being pregnant. Done with the mental anguish of the unknowns of what would happen with Lucy's birth. I was just done. So, I did the most logical thing I could think of at the time - I came home and made a huge pan of enchiladas.

Later that night, I decided that more important that anything else I needed to relax. I needed to get rid of the stress and tension I was feeling. So, I took a warm bubble bath, while Marc put on the relaxing music we wanted to play at the hospital during the birth and then he read from a hypnobirthing script to help relax my entire body. It was exactly what I needed and helped so much.

The next night, Friday, after getting the boys down for the night my dad came over so that Marc and I could go on a walk. We ended up going about 1.3 miles and it felt good just to get outside on a cool evening and have some time to be alone with Marc. We did have to stop periodically for some contractions, which made me feel a little better.

Saturday night we repeated our relaxation techniques and I was even able to imagine being in the hospital and feeling the same level of relaxation and calm.

Sunday night we decided to go on another walk. This time I was feeling pretty good, so we ended up going two miles. Even if it wasn't doing anything to get things going, it was just nice to have that quiet time with Marc. We got some pretty funny stares, clearly from people knowing the only reason a woman as pregnant as I was would be out on a long walk like that.

Monday came and, from what I could tell, I still hadn't progressed since my Thursday appointment. But, when the midwife offered to check me, I reluctantly agreed. I was both surprised and elated to hear her say I was dilated to a three, although I knew to keep the excitement in check since some can be at a three for weeks before going into labor. She guessed, though, that I'd be having this baby before my Friday appointment came.

That afternoon I felt some pretty strong menstrual-like cramps while trying to take a nap with the boys, and a few strong contractions later that evening, but then nothing. I called my sister, Dawnette, just to give her a head's up. We had made plans a few months ago to have her fly out for the birth, to act as my doula during labor. She isn't certified, but she'd used hypnobirthing with her youngest and she studied up on how to fill that doula role for us. I wanted her to be ready, just in case she were to get a phone call in the middle of the night.

And, it was a good thing I had given her some warning. At 11pm, just as I was trying to fall asleep, the contractions started. They were about 10-15 minutes apart at first, then got gradually closer together and stronger in intensity. I tried to relax through them and to sleep in between, if possible. I purposely tried to keep Marc from knowing, because I wanted him to be good and rested.

I think it was almost 3am when I called Dawnette to tell her to get to the airport for her 7:20am flight. At 4am, the contractions were strong enough that my moaning woke Marc. I filled him in on what had been happening for the last five hours and he encouraged me to get in the tub to relax while he got everything all together to go to the hospital.

While he was quietly rushing around, he was also timing my contractions with an app on is iPod. In that hour my contractions were averaging 3:48 minutes apart and lasting a minute long. So, at 5am, we called my parents. My Mom came over to be here with the boys while my Dad rushed to the airport to pick up my sister. And, Marc and I rushed to the hospital, with me kneeling on the floor behind the passenger seat, leaning over the back seat. I know it sounds like an awkward arrangement, but the thought of sitting up just seemed too painful.

Marc checked us in at the front desk of Labor and Delivery, while I braced a counter off to the side and swayed through a pretty strong contraction. They got us into a triage room and we waited for someone to come in and check my progress. I was preparing myself to hear that I was still only dilated to a three, so you can imagine my surprise when the nurse said I was dilated to a seven. It was really happening! Our baby girl would be arriving soon!

Lucy's Story - An Angel Doctor

Four years ago, on July 15th, Marc rushed me to our local ER after my water unexpectedly broke, less than a week following surgery that was meant to correct the TTTS that our twin daughters were struggling with. There were nurses coming in and out, checking vitals and asking questions, the whole process leaving me feeling very overwhelmed and close to having a complete breakdown. I didn't know what was happening or what was about to happen, but I was pretty sure things didn't look too good.

At one point a woman came in who I had never met and she brought with her a calm amid my little storm. She spoke softly and her eyes revealed a sympathy and a gentleness that overwhelmed me to tears. In all the confusion and panic of the moment, I missed her name and didn't even know if she was a nurse or a midwife or a doctor. The one thing I knew for sure was that she was an angel. I knew I'd never forget her nor the way she calmed my heart in just the few minutes we interacted.

Last November when I found out I was expecting again, I decided against going back to the doctor I'd been seeing an hour away. There aren't a lot of options to choose from in our little town, but I set an appointment with the only woman OBGYN, not knowing anything about her.

The day of my first appointment arrived and as soon as the doctor walked in, I was almost certain I could hear a chorus of Hallelujah's ring sweetly in my heart. It was her. It was the angel doctor from that awful July night. She still had the same calm and gentle ways about her and I felt an immediate assurance that I'd found the care I needed and wanted for this pregnancy.

From that first appointment I felt an increased confidence in my choice of care, as well as in my desire to attempt to have a VBAC. My questions were answered and my fears eased. And, even if things didn't turn out quite like I hoped, I knew I'd be given a fair chance with the support team I'd chosen. As I learned more about my doctor and her experience I felt even more blessed to be in her care - from work in the poorest parts of LA, to experiences delivering babies in Africa, to working on a Navajo Indian Reservation in the southwest. She fit that "angel" title more and more.

Announcing...

Lucy Jane. 

Born July 10, 2012 at 4:55pm. 

Nine pounds, seven and a half ounces. 

Twenty-one inches long. 

We are in heaven.

We'll be back to share more soon...